


What do schoolgirls do at night

by ThatCreepyGirl



Series: Ice Cream and Popcorn [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Bittersweet, Bonding, Character Development, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, Gun Violence, Harley is 15, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Mentor/Protégé, Nursing, Older Man/Younger Woman, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, bud and lou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:34:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatCreepyGirl/pseuds/ThatCreepyGirl
Summary: "You realise how many lives you could safe if you’d left me to die there, don’t you?”“Yes,” she sighed “but I also realise that I wouldn’t be sitting here now if you so wished. You know, That day. You could just break my neck and no one would hear”. She managed to smile “But you didn’t”.__Two years go by and little Harley meets Joker again, in drastically different circumstances.





	1. They patch up broken clowns

Next time they met, Harley was fifteen. It was a late evening after her training when she left the school gym. She locked the class with her own key and headed towards the black entrance doors. Not the first time Quinzel was one of the last ones to leave the school, good thing their coach was trusting her with the doublet keys. Stepping out of the building, Harleen inhaled the fresh spring air. It smelled like blooming flowers, hot dogs and gasoline. What a bouquet. The girl began her regular stroll down the street, enjoying the way her muscles ached slightly after a good stretching. There were puddles of dirty water here and there, and the cold wetness in the wind told her it had been raining not a long time ago.  
She continued to walk for some time and had already turned from the main road to a narrow alley, when she noticed a small movement in the corner of her right eye. Tensing, Harley turned her head in that direction, regarding what firstly appeared to be a homeless man in the dark shadow of the brick wall he leaned onto. But when Harley looked closer, she was out of breath. It was Him. His purple suit was torn and loose, makeup smudged into one grey mess, his nose was bleeding and there were multiply cuts on his face and neck. As if it wasn’t bad enough, he looked so skinny and lifeless, as if he hadn’t eat through the week, white cheeks hollow and boney outlines visible even under the suit fabric. Oh, and there was a giant pool of blood on his once blue shirt. This one, so far, was the worst.

At first Harley was so dumbfounded, she didn’t know what to do. Her brain was exploding just from realisation that this was the Joker. Arsonist and mass murderer. Also known as the guy that bought her pistachio ice cream in the park a couple of years ago. She would lie to herself if she said that there was a day she didn’t think about him. After that memorable encounter in the woods, she’d seen the Clown Prince of Crime multiply times on TV, social media and heard about him on the radio. People were genuinely terrified of him, claiming him to be the most notorious and dangerous criminal in Gotham. The stereotype couldn’t fit in her head though, not after she’d met him in person. As intimidating as he was, he didn’t do anything to her. Harleen highly doubted she would be spared if instead of the green haired maniac she’d met, say, Croc. Or Zsasz. Or, God forbid, the Mad Hatter. Now that one was a piece of work, that creep definitely would do something the two of them had so lightly joked about. So, she has spent these two years pondering on this at least once a day. She desperately wanted to meet the Joker again, knowing it was most likely a bad thing to wish for. It’s been so long, she had already got used to the idea of it never actually happening. And here he was, slowly dying in front of her.  
He coughed in pain and it brought Harley out of her stupor. Not to procrastinate even more, she rushed towards him, kneeling and debating if it was alright to touch him.

“H-hey, can you hear me?” Fighting over her anxiety, Harleen put her delicate hand on clown’s fragile shoulder. The intense gaze of vivid greens immediately flew to her face, eyes lively and absolutely conscious. 

“Wow. If I’d knew that death was so cute, I’d make sure to pull the trigger sooner, ha!” he started to chuckle but ended up coughing again. That was the moment she noticed that the red on his mouth was not only lipstick, there was blood too, both fresh and dry. She couldn’t leave him like that. Not after he had spared her that day in the park. Now it was time for Harley to show her gratitude towards his compassion. 

“Can you walk?” Joker made a vague nod, not really bothering why she was asking. He had lost too much blood to pay attention to what was happening around him. Harley used his distracted state of mind to lift the man by hugging his torso, feeling the warm wetness of his blood ruining her jacket as well. Making sure that he was capable of standing straight and was registering the situation again, the girl made her way under his armpit, making the criminal leaning on her as on a living crutch. Fighting dizziness, Joker looked down onto the puffy blond bun in thought.

“You look kinda familiar”.

“You bet” she huffed. Quickly checking on him again with a once-over glance, Harley started to move. She obviously couldn’t take him home, not only because there were her parents and baby bro, but also because it was still far away. So, they headed towards the closest location where she could take care of him. And no, she didn’t take him to the hospital.

 

***

 

Harleen helped her injured companion to lay on the mat in the gym. The school was dead silent, corridors dark and no one around.

“Stay here for a second, I will go get the medical stuff. Do you know what you might need?” 

Joker watched her silently, splayed across the brown mat, limp as a rag doll.

“Wait a minute,” he muttered, eyes squinting “you are the ice-cream girl! What are the odds!” His face lighted up with recognition and he managed to bring a delighted laugh out of his sore throat. Harley rolled her eyes in annoyance. She was enormously flattered that he had actually remembered her, but it was not the time. 

“Mister Joker, please cooperate!” She tried to sound stern, but ended up entertaining him even more, if the criminal’s humorous grin was any indication. “Please, tell me what you need, I’m trying to help you”.

“Juss-some binds, stapler and peroxide…” he muttered, dozing off on the softness of the mat. 

“I’ll be right back” and with that, she was gone from the P.A. class, running down the hallway to the medical room. Of course, she didn’t take only the obvious items he requested. Harleen grabbed three bottles of water, a washcloth, alcohol, sponges and painkillers. When she was back, the clown was were she had left him, trying his best to stay conscious.  
Setting everything beside her, the young girl set on the mat as well, working on the buttons of the criminal’s bloodstained shirt, determined yet blushing profusely. The wound on his stomach was wide, but not deep, at least not as bad as she expected. She poured water on it first, washing his non existent belly with the cloth she brought. God, he was a living skeleton. Last time they had met, he was lanky, sure, but he didn’t look sick or starving. In comparison to whatever was laying beside her now, he had been fresh and healthy. When the wound area was clean, Harley poured alcohol on it. The bastard didn’t even flinch or hiss, just hummed softly in acknowledgement. No wonder, after everything he has been through in his wild life. Seeing that there were no more serious wounds, Harley brought the bottle of water to his bloody lips. Joker drank hungrily until the bottle was empty, suddenly full of life again. The man surely had a stubborn spirit, whether it concerned his schemes, his life or anything else. That was admirable.  
His peaceful mood changed the moment Harley tried to shove painkillers in his mouth. He furiously slapped her hand away, green eyes livid.

“No pills!” He hissed.

“They will make you fill better! If you want me to staple the wound, you will have to drink them!” She insisted.

“Fuck off! Give me the stapler!” Not waiting for her answer, he raised, using his elbows for support and quickly grabbed the stapler himself. 

“…Hey!” Ignoring girl’s exclamations, Joker silently applied peroxide on the problem zone. When it sank in, he began to staple his skin together. 

Harley stared at him dumbfounded, in absolute awe. Here he was, sitting on the mat in a school gym, stapling a hole in his body like it was a set of paper, face blank, no emotions whatsoever. How often did he find himself in this situation? Why was he in a dark alley alone, without his goons whatsoever? When he finished, the clown threw the stapler on the mat and left out a loud sign, resting on his elbows. He than started to examine Harley up and down.

“What’s your name again, doll?” Now he sounded much more alive and like his old self, throat not sore and dehydrated anymore. 

“H-Harley” she muttered. 

“Thank you, Harley” was what he said. And it was so soft and sincere, and his smile was gentle, yet tired. Harley felt butterflies in her stomach. There was definitely something wrong with her. “Time did you good. You are a very beautiful young lady”. She didn’t know what to respond, too stunned. “And still too reckless and stupid for your own being. You realise how many lives you could safe if you’d left me to die there, don’t you?” 

“Yes,” she sighed “but I also realise that I wouldn’t be sitting here now if you so wished. You know, That day. You could just break my neck and no one would hear.” She managed to smile “But you didn’t”.

“I don’t kill when it’s not funny, kid. And there is nothing funny about murdering a clueless teen on a period in the middle of a forest. It’s too lame” he deadpanned flatly. But miss Quinzel knew how to read between the lines. He thought she was too innocent to die like that. Aw, wasn’t it adorable?

“I wasn’t on a period” she rolled her eyes.

“You surely looked like you were” he mocked her by mimicking the gloomy expression she sported when he found her under the tree. That earned him a playful kick on the shoulder. They both laughed a little. 

“Um, I’m sorry, but your mug is genuinely terrifying. With all the blood and the dark mess under your eyes. Would you mind?” She hold the clean side of the washcloth in her hand. Joker eyed it sceptically “I would also like to clean the cuts on your face and neck. Otherwise they will get infected”.

“Whatever, do your thing, Harley-girl. It’s not like you haven’t seen me bare faced before, anyway”. He closed his eyes and let her wash his face from the greasy layers of makeup, blood and mud. 

“There, all better!” Now she could look at the real him. It seemed like they’ve lived through different time lapses, his face was marked with deep wrinkles that weren’t there before, as if it had been at least five years since their last encounter. Most likely it was because he lacked any meat in his body, making the sharp angles of his face even more defined. She started to work on small cuts with a sponge, healing them with hydrogen peroxide. “You should eat better, you look horrible”.

“And you should mind your own business, young lady.” he muttered “I’m still the psycho here, don’t let your pink fluffy delusions fool you”.

“I’m scared speechless” she huffed. They spent some time in a relaxing silence after that. She finished examining the cuts and set her tools aside. “Do you hurt anywhere else?”

“In the heart of my lonely soul” he exhaled dramatically. Harley gave him an unimpressed look. “No, pumpkin, I don’t. Really though, thanks. I appreciate your help”. 

The mighty Joker had thanked her twice in one hour already, must be a record for him, Harley thought to herself. 

“Hmm, I was too out of it when we came here, so… did you break in or something?” He looked around the sports class. 

“Oh no, I have keys from the gym and the second school entrance”.

“And why is it so?”

“I, uh, like to train alone. Helps to concentrate and to distant yourself from regular stuff…” she suddenly felt shy, sharing an intimate part of her life with an infamous criminal. 

“You do sports?” She looked up, meeting his eyes. He didn’t appear to be very invested in this conversation, most likely just keeping the small talk to avoid an awkward silence. 

“Yeah, gymnastics” Her gaze unintentionally went to his bare chest and it hit her that they still didn’t bondage the wound properly. 

“Like what you see?” What a bastard. Harley hoped her face wasn’t at least as red as it felt.

“Duh! I was just - um, we probably need to bondage that”. In encouragement to her words, the girl took the plain white bondages and, purposely not looking at him, started to unreel the fabric. 

“Let me do it, gazpacho”. He chuckled, leaning forward to take the medical item from her hands. The red faced teen shoved it to him, annoyed. “Say, why won’t you show me some magic tricks of yours? You must be a good athlete, if you stay up so late in the gym”.

Late. What time was it? Harley searched her bag for the phone, and when she grabbed it, checked the time. It was past 10 p.m. What?! When she left the school it was only 8. There were several concerned messages from her mother. Shit. She looked up from her phone screen to the Joker, who was looking at her expectedly. Harley really wanted to impress this man. Not pondering on it for too long, Quinzel texted her mom that she had dropped by her friend and will be home before 12. Good thing her parents weren’t the obsessively concerned type. She had been provided to her own devices since she was ten.  
“I’ll be right back” she threw over her shoulder, standing up with the sport sack that contained her training clothes in it, heading towards the changing room. 

Harleen changed into her usual set up of leggings, body and a pair of red shorts. When she returned, her troubled companion was leisuring on the mat as if it was a cozy sofa in the Wayne manor. Noticing her, the man started to clap, encouraging her to start.  
Standing in the middle of the room, Harley considered what performance to show him. For some reason he made her feel more nervous than crowds of random people on all of those competitions she had participated in. Meanwhile, the man himself was fighting back the sleepiness again. He had lost a lot of blood and probably should have some rest, but Joker asked for entertainment himself. So, she would try her best not to disappoint him.  
Stretching her limbs in preparation, Harley decided to go with her latest number, the one she performed on New Jersey’s Gymnastic Competition for kids and teenagers. She took second place for that, people were genuinely impressed, so why shouldn’t he be? With this in mind, the girl started her show, using the set up of obstacles from her earlier training. The gymnast was averting eye contact with her watcher on purpose, she didn’t want to be distracted. So, she didn’t know what his reaction was. 

Making her last jump, Harley bowed. There was silence. Anxious, she looked up and oh… Joker was fast asleep. Young gymnast knew she shouldn’t be mad at him, it was only natural that this had happened. And still, Harley was a teen. So she was extremely pissed off right now. He made her sweat over here for good four minutes and for what?! Not paying credit for what she was doing, Harley came closer to the clown’s peaceful frame and kicked him painfully in the knee. 

“Ow!” The unpleasant awakening brought out the criminal’s reflexes and the next time Harley blinked, she was pinned to the mat, Joker on top of her and his hand clenching her throat. “What the fuck do you think you are doing, pumpkin?!” He hissed angrily. That was a cue for Harleen to back off and apologise, but of course she didn’t. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to disturb your beauty sleep! Was I that boring to watch?!” She grumbled in return, furious. Joker seemed to be fully awake now, searching her face in bewilderment and when it got to him why she was suddenly acting that way, he laughed right in her face. She could definitely live without him spitting on her, Harley thought, not sharing his amusement. 

“Hahah-oh, my apologies! I swear, I’ve watched for a couple of minutes. Not bad, kid, not bad.” he shifted, freeing her from his tight grip and sat straight, back leaning onto the wall, one hand unconsciously pressed against the fresh scar on his stomach. She suddenly felt bad for kicking him. It was not his fault. “Could be better, though”.

Ah, really. Harley shoved back any regret she had. 

“How can you judge if you haven’t even seen the good part” she mumbled, also sitting and hugging her knees. 

“Well, prove me wrong then”.

“…What?”

“Do it again”. Harley stared at him, speechless. Was he pestering her? His nasty little smirk told her that yes, he was totally trolling her.

“I’m not falling for that one. Try something else” she tried to sound as chill and flat as she ever could. The clown just giggled to himself. It seemed like he was coming back to his normal self, hence, being a petty jerk. Too bad, Harleen liked him much better when he was dazed from the trauma. With that, she stood up and went back to the changing room. So much fuss and all for nothing. She put on her school uniform and returned to the man. The former was slowly losing his calmness and started to fidget, eyes constantly moving, hovering over their surroundings and one feet jerking repeatedly. When she levelled with him, Joker stared her dead in the eyes. His bloodshot green orbs were manic, all gentleness gone as if it never was there. Harley found herself uneasy under that intense gaze.

“Um… I need to go home. You can stay here until six a.m. If you will need something, the medical cabinet is straight down the hall, near the memorial desk” He didn’t respond, just staring at her silently. “I-it was, eh, nice to meet you? Bye” not knowing what to add, she quickly gathered her back from the floor and was about to leave, when a white hand caught hers. 

“Harley”  
“Yes?”

“I liked the show” he said, surprisingly softly.

She couldn’t fight back the victorious smile that was slowly growing on her face.


	2. They dine with murderers

Two weeks had passed since the gym incident. When Harley came to school the next day, she made sure to check the P.A. class first. There was no sign of him. Not even a note. That made the girl feel a little empty inside, though she knew he couldn’t leave any traces. If not for the bloodstained school jacket, that she shoved into the washing machine as soon as she got home, Harleen would think that it all was just a very weird dream. A surprisingly pleasant dream, if you put aside the stress they both had been through. Clown was alluring her, that was undeniable. Maybe it was because her life was so boring and regular, maybe it was his peculiar charm and the adrenaline she felt around the criminal. Most likely both.   
Today was Friday, her family went out on some friend’s birthday party. Harley politely refused, preferring to finally spend some quality time at home alone. Her evening was perfectly planned: no training, no noisy little brothers, no homework - just her, movies and snacks. Everything was prepared for her entertainment, expect for the snack part. That wasn’t an issue, as Harleen was already heading towards the small grocery store across the street. It felt so good to be finally on her own. If she was lucky, her parents and Barrie would have a sleepover at the friends’ home. After all, it was on the countryside of Gotham.   
Harley entered the shop and walked towards the snack section. It was surprisingly empty there for a Friday night. There were around three-four people here, including her and the cashier. The girl picked some nuts mix and was about to move towards chips selection, when she heard a sound of a carton box falling. Moving on reflex, Harley turned her head to check what was going on beside her, without much interest. Just some middle-aged man picking up a box of cereal from the floor. He straitened and something about his posture made her pause. He was quite tall and skinny, dark brown hair slightly wavy, skin a few tones paler than hers, but otherwise normal. The man was standing in front of the row with cereal, one hand holding Nesquik, the other Cheerios, a look of serious debate on his face.   
His face. She knew these angular features. Of course, she could be mistaking and it was just a look alike, but He had a very unique appearance, one that can’t be repeated so identically by nature. 

“Take Cheerios” the girl tried. Well, if she was mistaking, she could always just carry on a conversation with an attractive man. The former flinched, startled and looked at her with his big green eyes. Bingo. If she had any doubt before, now Harley was one hundred percent certain on who was standing beside her. 

“You gotta be kidding me” Joker muttered under his breath. Harley just smiled. She was so excited to see him, and in a normal situation, finally. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you are stalking me, pumpkin”. He was half whispering, aware of other people, so Harleen took a few steps closer to him. 

“How is your wound?” She whispered in return. 

“S’fine. Better than ever”. He looked around, noting that more people were coming in. He threw Cheerios into his grocery basket and nodded towards the cashier “Take your stuff and lets go”. Not hesitating for a moment, Harley took her chips and followed her unexpected companion. He was already putting his products on the rolling board and the girl watched in horror the revealing of this ‘Five year old boy’ set. Cereal, strawberry milk, ten bars of Kinder Penguin, chocolate chip cookies and a box of ice cream. What on Earth was this masterpiece. Was that how he ate? No wonder he looked like a walking corpse. Reading her face correctly, Joker gave her a look that said ‘Don’t you dare to comment anything’. Harley giggled. The infamous arsonist had a sweet tooth. Who would have thought.   
She was so entertained by this new discovery that she missed the moment where he had paid for her snacks. Always such a gentleman. By the look on his face, Harleen could tell that in his mind he was bribing her silence that way. That made her laugh again. How couldn’t he see that she was not going to tell anyone on him? Didn’t she deserve his trust? 

“You know, I love it when people laugh, but your groundless goofiness starts to concern me, Harls” he said when they left the mini market, with a tone like she was the asylum escapee here and not him. 

“What are you doing here? Do you live in this area?” Finally she was able to ask the right questions.

“Don’t get too exited, it’s not for more than a week”. He started to walk in a random direction and she followed, mindlessly. 

“I live in that house” she pointed at her apartment building, when it became visible. Joker made a face at her that probably meant ‘are you completely dumb, I am a mass murderer’. And in fact, he said:

“Are you dumb? Why are you telling ME this?”   
“Erm… my parents are not at home and probably won’t return until morning” she blurted out before realising how weird it must had sounded. Joker stopped walking and just stared at her, for some time. Than he laughed loudly, receiving side glances from people that went by. 

“Are you - oh God, hahah, are you hitting on me?” He managed to squeeze out the words during his fit of laughter. 

“I-it’s not what I meant! I mean, duh! I was planning to have a movie marathon and if you want, you can join me”. Needless to say, this was the most embarrassing moment in Harley’s life. How sad that she could’t become invisible and run away. 

“What makes you think I don’t have better plans?”

“I don’t think anything! I just invited you!” The girl frowned. Meanwhile, Joker calmed down a bit, and if pondering on something, looked at the dark sky in thought. 

“If you really want to spend some quality time with your favourite clown that much, there is a nice cafeteria nearby,” he than looked around, and whispered to her, bending to her eye level “but there is something I need to tell you first”. He sounded serious and Harley tensed a little. He put a hand against his cheek in a secretive manor and continued to whisper in her pink ear “I know it’s hard to believe, but I am not eighteen”. 

Harley groaned in annoyance, Joker laughed.

 

***

 

The cafeteria was indeed lovely. Harley had been there a couple of times before. They sat in a private corner beside a wide window. There were a little more people than usual, because it was Friday night after all, but the atmosphere was very relaxing and it was pretty quiet, soft music playing on the background and dim lights suggested a cosy feeling.   
Harleen was staring at the menu and not seeing, thinking about their silly conversation a few minutes prior. Well, silly from her part. 

“Sooo?” She heard Joker’s displeased voice and looked up to his disguised face. “Any particular reason you decided to booty call me? Or are we going to just sit here in silence?” Harley chocked on air.

“I didn’t booty call you! Stop calling it that, ugh!” She couldn’t believe this conversation was actually happening. The brown haired man raised one unimpressed eyebrow at that. He was going to make her say it, wasn’t he? Harley sighed. “You are just so interesting and unusual. Since our first meeting, I simply couldn’t let you out of my head. And now… if I didn’t react, you would just disappear again. I saw that you were planning on it. I, ah, I want to be your friend. And I want you to know that you can always rely on me, I will never call cops on you or anything like that. In fact, i-if you want, I can help you! I am quiet handful and stuff”. There, she had said everything. He studied her face, eyes heavy and surprisingly serious. 

“Harley, how old are you?”

“Fifteen. I will be sixteen this summer” which was soon, in her opinion.

“And you don’t have anything better to do with your free time?” Before she could answer, a waitress appeared beside them, smiling.

“Hi! What can I get you?”

“I will have poppy crepes with chocolate sauce and salty caramel cappucino” the man smiled back his most charming smile “and the young lady…?” He looked at Harley with question in the air.

“Wild berries pudding and green tea, please” she decided. 

“Great! I will be right back with your order”. Joker waited until the waitress was far away, and, signing, continued their conversation. 

“What I am saying, you have seen firsthand what happened a few weeks ago. This is what my life is, constantly. Maybe you decided for yourself that this is some sort of fun adventure, but it is not”. He bent over to her, lowering his voice “Wherever I go - there is blood and chaos. I love that. I wouldn’t want it any other way. But you, Harley, are a completely different story. I won’t lie, having someone who I can trust outside my working field sounds very tempting. This is a quite exclusive privilege, anyone from Gotham’s rogues gallery would literally kill for a person they can full heartedly rely on. So I am telling you this for the first and the last time: are you sure you want me in your life? Because if you say ‘yes’, there is no way back. Your life will never be the same. I will count on you as on a gang member, even if visibly your routine will be the same as before” he spoke calm and gravely, not breaking eye contact with her even for once. Harley left out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. This was not something she was expecting. He acted like a completely different person, calculative and cold. The girl felt chills running down her spine. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she answered:

“Yes, I am sure”. 

He continued to stare at her, frowning a little. Slowly, the corners of his thin lips twitched and a smile started to crawl on his face. 

“That’s my brave girl!” He suddenly announced cheerfully, patting her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to bother you often,” he winked “but when I do, I expect you to drop whatever unimportant kids stuff you are doing and be available for me”.

“Okay?” She was still unsure of what was happening. The only thing the girl knew for sure was that she would go after this man anywhere. 

The criminal was still smiling, studying her with his eyes, when the waitress brought their order. Harley looked in bewilderment at the man who was putting three cubes of brown sugar into his already sweet coffee, while drinking her plain green tea. He sniffed his hot drink and sipped it, humming happily.

“I think you consume too much sugar” she tried carefully.

“Don’t think, it doesn’t suit you” he answered, cutting his pancakes and dipping them in chocolate creme. 

“So… what kind of things do you expect me to do?” 

“Different. Mostly keeping some things I don’t trust anyone else to watch after. Sometimes I might drop by for hiding. Oh, and don’t worry, you will get paid”.

“P-paid? But you don’t need to…” 

“Rule number one: don’t question my decisions,” he cut her off harshly “rule number two: don’t mumble. I hate it”.

They ate in silence after that for some time. Harley regarded him, lost in thought. He looked so normal right now. Not only because of his natural makeup, but in general. The way he chewed on the crepes, humming some tune cheerfully, how no one noticed him. Joker looked… too humanely. Almost vulnerable, something he was definitely not. She wondered what led this man to the life he had. How did he snap? What had he been doing before he became the Clown prince of crime? Why was his hair so green? Why did she want to touch it so badly? To stroke his head, fingers sinking into shiny neon locks that looked so fluffy.

“Stop looking at me like that. We are not in Uffizi gallery and I am not Botticelli’s Venus”.

Harley snapped out of her trance, taking a spoonful of her pudding, cheeks burning. 

 

***

Lately, when they had left the cafeteria, Joker asked Harley to show her home again and to point out the window that lead to her room. He gave her a phone number and warned not to bother him unless it was a matter of life and death. The clown instructed her to answer all his messages and phone calls and that she would get paid monthly even if he didn’t use her help. Then he patted her cheek, wished her good night and disappeared into the darkness of the narrow alleys. 

It was now 3 a.m. and she couldn’t fall asleep. Her parents texted her that they were staying the night in with their friends, as Harley expected. Her mind was exploding from new memories, encouraging the girl to rerun every detail in her head, experiencing this evening yet again.   
Suddenly, she sensed vibration on the nightstand beside her bed. That was her phone. Harleen took the smartphone and the screen immediately highlighted with a message from a new contact, named ‘Puddin’. Cute and unsuspicious and reminded her of their first dinner together. But that was unimportant right now, as the text said:

“You still up for a movie?” She smiled happily and typed back with shaking hands.  
“Sure”.

She was about to add that her parents were still not at home but decided against it. She wouldn’t be able to live through another ‘booty call’ joke. He left the message on ‘read’. Harleen procrastinated for a couple of minutes and than realised, that he was probably coming over. In panic, she quickly changed her embarrassing pyjamas to something more appropriate, prepared untouched snacks and readied the big TV screen in the living room. When she went back to her bedroom to brush hair, Harley heard a tap on her window. There he was. She hurried to open the fence and Joker climbed in, in all his green and purple glory. He looked tired and his coattails were slightly smudged, as if covered with a layer of gunpowder. Otherwise, he was in one piece and more or less fresh looking, clown makeup well done and hair sleeked back in artistic mess. He looked around her room and paused his gaze on her.

“Bonsoir, m’lady” he titled a non existent hat in an old fashioned manner. Joker took off his dirty coat and shoes, setting his things carefully on a shelf under the window. Ignoring Harley, he walked in the middle of the room and tapped on the floor, studying the parquet desks. Seemingly satisfied, he headed towards her wardrobe.

“Hey! It’s private!” Harley rushed over to him, shielding the wooden box that hided her clothes.

“You should forget about privacy the moment you agreed to work for me”. He shoved her to the side unceremoniously and opened the wardrobe, looking inside pretentiously. And just like that, he walked in. “Hm, it’s quiet big. Good”. With this in mind, he started to investigate every corner of the girl’s room. Under her bed, in drawers and behind the heating pipes. When he was satisfied, Joker turned to her, smiling broadly. “And now, we can watch something!” Oh, she had forgotten what their actual plans were. You tend to unfollow such simple things when there is a massive revision happening in your room. “Ah! I forgot. I brought you a little something” he rummaged in his endless pockets and took out something that looked like… a bracelet? He held it out to her and Harley looked closer. She couldn’t tell if it was silver or white gold, but it was indeed very pretty, littered in cherry red rubies and some black crystals, probably sapphire. “Go on, take it. That’s a ‘thank you’ for saving my life that day”.

Gently, Harley took the falderal and put it on her wrist.  
“Thank you, it’s very beautiful”. She wondered for a second if he stole it, but than decided that it didn’t matter to her. He made her a wonderful present and she loved it. That was it. 

Some time later they were half-laying on the couch in the living room, laughing at some black and white comedy Harley had never seen before but throughly enjoyed. His choice, of course. At some point she started to drift off, tugging the soft plaid further on her shoulders and tried to snuggle closer to her new boss insensibly. Of course, Joker noticed it, but probably decided that she was already in the dreamland, as he didn’t shove her back. All Harley heard was a desperate sigh and a soft murmur:

“Silly little brat. I will be your downfall”. 

Maybe so. But it didn’t stop her from falling asleep on his warm shoulder. Her dreams were full of rubies, puddings and laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL WE'VE GOT "JOKER" TEASER!!! I CONGRATULATE EVERYONE AND MYSELF! IT'S SO AMAZING I'VE REWATCHED IT AT LEAST THIRTY TIMES ALREADY
> 
> Now about the chapter. Not much is happening here but it's important for the further plot. Hope your enjoyed your reading! 
> 
> I'm going to draw another Arthur Fleck now, bye!


	3. They hide secrets in their closets

When the morning came, Harleen woke up to the common set of her room. For a moment she wondered if her obsessed brain had invented everything, but than the bracelet, the one that was still on the girl’s wrist, caught her eye. She traced the crystals’ outlines with her fingertips tenderly, feeling warmness blooming through her insides. So, had he carried her over here? And even carefully covered her with the blanket? Or, which was more likely, Harley could be exaggerating and she was moved by her parents when they came home from the party. Outside her bedroom, Harley could hear the muffled voices of said parents. A part of her wanted to storm to the kitchen and shout out that yes, she now had a job, a very important one, and they should be so proud of her. Her stronger part though, oh it cherished so much the secretiveness of the situation the young girl had found herself in. No one would ever know about Harleen Quinzel’s second life. Or, that was what she had thought. 

***

After that things just seemed to carry on and Harley spent her weekends wondering around without a purpose. She didn’t hear from Joker until Sunday evening, when around 11 p.m he had texted her:

“I will drop by in 20 minutes. Prepare your window”

Just like that, Mrs. Quinzel walked in her daughter’s room and edified her to prepare for the bedtime. Shit. What should Harley do about it? She quickly typed a reply:

“My parents are home”

Half an hour had passed and he didn’t answer still, nor had he read her message. Harley was laying in her bed, lights off, listening to the little noise in their apartment and looking nervously at her opened window. When she turned her head to look at the light that was seen coming under the door, the wooden floor of the girl’s room cracked as if someone stepped on it. And indeed, as soon as Harleen turned her head to see if it was her expected guest, there was the Clown prince himself. In the natural darkness only moonlight was outlining his long silhouette. He was breathing hard and held something that looked like a suitcase in his shaking hand. The Joker just stood there, behind the window, and probably was staring at her.

“Hi” she whispered. In response he threw his case on the bed and quietly took off his shoes. Walking unsteadily, he came closer to the girl and muttered to her face:

“Where can I put this?” His voice was hoarse, with a hysterical undertone. 

“What?”

“The case, Harley” he was hissing angrily “I don’t have time for a playdate with you”.

“I… I don’t know. I never hid anything” she sat up, trying to figure out his face expression. “Are you alright? You are not injured anywhere?”

“Harley shut up!” He growled, as quietly as he could “No, I am not injured. Again - where can I put this?” He cut every word separately, as if she was a silly infant. 

“Ugh…Wardrobe? No one will look there, and tomorrow I can think of a better place. Otherwise, we will create too much noise”. He sat on the corner of the bed and, breathing profusely through his nose, hold her shoulders in a tight grip.

“Listen, sweetie,” Joker wheezed “this case is veeery important. I need you to keep an eye on it for a while. Don’t even try to open it - s’locked. Now, we are going to hide this thing and if something happens to it - I will personally cut your head off with manicure scissors”.

“O-okay”. He clearly was not in his best mood. Harley stood up, aware of her embarrassing pyjama set, which was thankfully not too visible in the dark. The girl hesitated to take the suitcase in her hands, just heading towards the wardrobe, which she opened wide and looked at the clown expectedly. He was already beside her. Together they set up a visual distraction from Harley’s bags and clothes, putting the thing of concern underneath. Seemingly satisfied, Joker vaguely nodded to himself. He than looked at his new associate.

“Watch after that” he threw at her and like this, just disappeared into the window with no goodbyes. Harley stared at her window for some time, confused with what had happened. She procrastinated on it for some time and then, throwing her last glance at the closed wardrobe, went to sleep.

***

 

For the rest of the week nothing changed. Every morning Harley would check on the case, gather her stuff and leave to school. Then she trained herself out and went home. Sometimes instead of the gym practice she would go to a cafeteria with her classmate, where they worked on a history project. Today was one of those days.  
Debrah approached her after the last class ended, towering over her expectedly. She was one of those girls that exist in every class of every school, the tall silent type with a long face and skirt below her knees, that studied fairly good but was apathetically dense in real life. Debrah shared a will to make the project with Harleen first, to which the athlete agreed without second guessing, preventing her annoying admirers from trying to get in that place. Needless to mention that in the two years of her stay in Gotham, Harley grew extremely popular amongst the boys, though she couldn’t care less. The girl was declining each and every proposal to go out, in a company or alone - it didn’t matter. For some reason, the most stubborn fellas came to conclusion that she was playing hard to get. In reality, Harley was playing ‘don’t be too rude to imbeciles’. Quiet a difficult game, if you may ask.

The two teens headed out of the building through the main entrance, carefully averting the sprinter kids from the minor classes. 

“Harleen, I think that man is watching us” Debrah broke the silence with her emotionless voice when they had reached the green zone of the school area. Harley looked around and froze when she saw the disguised version of her boss walking casually towards them. “He is moving towards us”.

“I see it, Debrah” the blonde was clueless of what this was about. What was he thinking, appearing like that in the middle of the day in front of her school? Even if he looked like any regular man, it still might look suspicious to someone. Or that was just her growing paranoia. With that secret in her wardrobe, both literally and figuratively, anxiety became one of Harley’s day to day experience.

“Haaarley, dear, there you are! Don’t make your uncle restless like that ever again!” This was new. How was Harley supposed to act? “You know, I called you. Several times” he was smiling, but that broad smile promised her mortification. Oh no, she had switched off the sound on her phone during the lessons. The girl took out the said device and looked at the screen. Three missed calls from ‘Puddin’. She was so screwed.

“Oh, I completely forgot you were supposed to meet me after school! Ah-ah” she glanced warily at Debrah, but her classmate was just standing there and listening to the enrolling conversation. “Bu-ut, here we are! Let’s go see that thing you wanted to show me… uncle”. The other girl was still there. “Um, Debrah, I’m sorry I forgot to warn you that I can’t study with you today” she smiled politely at the confused teen. The latter stared blankly at both blonde and her -supposed to be- uncle.

“But the presentation is next week. We need to check everything today or we will have to do it on the weekends, and I am going on a canoe trip with my family on Saturday”.

“Debrah?” Joker started suavely, getting the stubborn girl’s attention “Fuck off”.

It took all Harley’s strength not to laugh at her classmate’s shocked face expression. Somehow her phiz grew even longer. Apparently, she was still not leaving.

“Get the memo and disappear, dammit! Or I will smash your scull with this” he held up a pine cone that was in the pocket of his beige jacket for some reason. That seemed to work, as Debrah, with eyes big as if she had Graves’ disease, ran away. Satisfied, Joker took Harley harshly by the shoulder, making it visibly as if he was just hugging her, and walked the girl in her home’s direction. 

“What have I told you?! You need to always answer my phone calls!” he was lashing out while they moved “You are lucky it’s not something urgent. I need my suitcase”.

“Sure. I’m sorry to be such a disappointment” was all she muttered.

“Also your acting skills suck. I’ve never seen anything so cringe worthy in my life”.

“I wasn’t the one with the pine cone threats, mind you” she bit back and immediately felt the grip on her shoulder tighten.

“Someone is extremely bold today, it seems?” The clown hissed. Well, Harley was no Debrah and knew where to stop, so she swallowed back her sass and the rest of the road they spent in an awkward silence.

***

They were lucky to find the apartment empty, as Harley checked first and let her guest in through the door for the first time. He didn’t waist any time and went to her room. Harleen followed and walked into him already opening the suitcase. She reflectively looked inside and suddenly all blood left the teen’s face and her heart dropped somewhere in her feet. The case was empty. Scared speechless, she raised her gaze to meet Joker’s livid face.

“I… I didn’t open it, I swear” she stumbled through her words. Oh no, he looked so tense. He was going to murder her. “It can’t be! I… we need to check my brother’s room. He is the only one who could take whatever was inside and not comment on it. I…” 

“I would be surprised if he could actually find anything there” he cut her off, with a surprisingly mocking tone.

“W-what?”

“It was empty, Harls” and there she noticed that he was tense because he was struggling to hold his face together. Harley must had had a mug to die for, as he couldn’t fight it anymore and broke out in a fit of a hysterically delightful laughter. 

“Haha-oh, huh, your face! You should see your face” he almost wept at this point. Now it was Harley’s turn to be furious. No way. Not only he nearly frightened her to death, but he had forced her to look after an empty bag for full four days. And how he acted that night! As if it was a life and death matter and he had ran into her right after an intense gunfight. What an actor. Academy Awards would be crying on him. And all that just so he could laugh at her expense. She wanted to strangle him so badly. While waiting for him to calm down, Harley was imagining just that. 

“Ho-oh, that was a good one” he signed, satisfied with himself and, placing his scrawny body on her bed, looked her up and down. “What? Did you actually expect me to trust a teenage girl I barely know with something important?” He giggled again at her naiveness “Good thing tho - congratulations, you’ve passed the test!” He exclaimed victoriously, making jazz hands. 

“A test” she felt her fists clenching tight. Before she knew it, Harley found herself on top of the Joker, trying to choke him with a pillow. She was in a pure rage and gave everything she had to that pillow with pink flower print. But when a muffled laugh stoped and the man underneath her went limp, not fighting back, she was scared again. What had she done?! Hands shaking, she threw the pillow away. He was unconscious. 

“Oh no no no no” she muttered, her entire body trembling. Just when she was about to check his pulse, the blonde felt strong hands gripping at her sides and in the next moment she was flipped on her back, changing places with the not so ‘dead’ clown. 

“No!” She screeched when he started to emit a spit trail that was going straight to her face. “Stop that! You are disgusting!” She tried to wiggle away, but he was holding her for good. When the spit was already a couple centimetres away from her face, he swallowed it back and released her, giggling again as a childish being he was. 

“Even I am not that reckless, Harls”. She didn’t respond. He was insufferable. It was so silly of her to expect him to take her seriously. Even after she had saved his pathetic life.  
When the wave of angriness faded, another emotion took over Harley - embarrassment. Not for her impolite behaviour, the man himself had just ruined any norms of personal space that ever existed. She was embarrassed for being so close to him. It made her think about things a girl her age wasn’t allowed to think of. 

“Anywho, I was actually going to give you a serious task” clown broke the intense quietness. Harleen eyed him skeptically. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m telling you the truth right now, scout’s honour!” He placed his hand on… the opposite side to the heart. So much for a scout. “Also your pillow now has a face” .

Harley looked at the pillow that she had been using to choke him. His ‘normal skin tan’ was allover it, creating a creepy wrinkled visage. Now, even she couldn’t hold a snort.

“Let’s get out of here before your moms and pops arrive and found out what their precious little dolly does to single homeless clowns. I have something to show you”.

As if Harley could say ‘no’ to anything that came out of his fool mouth.

***

Harley looked around the studio Joker had brought her to. It was on the highest floor of an apartment building a few blocks away from her home. The surroundings looked cozy but lifeless, as if the apartment was abandoned a long time ago. The dust that flied in the air, highlighted by the bright sun than shone through the louvers, just proved her point. 

“A-and why are we here?” She tried. Did he had enough with her and was going to finally kill her there? 

“Come here” he waved to were he was standing, beside a medium sized carton box. Harleen obeyed without a second guess and walked in said direction. When she levelled with the clown, he bended on his knees and moved a tiny blanket that was covering something in the box to the side, revealing two fluffy brown balls laying on cloud patterned covers. Disturbed by the movement, the balls started to fidget and turn inside their carton home. They were puppies. Very weird looking ones, like someone mixed a bear cub with a fox and these adorable things were the result. 

“Aww! Now who are these little cuties? Do you want to play with Harley? Do you?” She was immediately on the floor, cooing and petting the pups. Animals of any kind were always Harley’s soft spot. Especially doggies. She had been asking her parents for a puppy since she was four, instead they gave her a brother that couldn’t even remember his own surname. Joker was watching in stupor as the girl was releasing squeaky sounds he didn’t know a human being was capable of. He cleared his throat and tried to explain the situation:

“Harley, ah, these are hyenas”.

“They are what?!” She even stopped playing with them and making these obnoxious little noises, which he was grateful for.

“Hyenas”.

“Where… How? Why?” The girl was obviously confused.

“Doesn’t matter. The point is, I’m moving back to my main lair. Which is, ah, least to say, positively dangerous for little puppies” he raised his eyebrows as if to ask if she was catching were this was going. The blonde silently nodded, while her hands were still busy in cubs’ thick short fur. “So I want you” he pointed finger at Harley “to look after them” his finger now directed at puppies “everyday. S’close to your home, so should’t be a problem. Right-o?”

“Wait. You actually… you let me take care of’em?” She was in awe. This was everything she would ever wish for. Not a one puppy, but two! Oh, they were going to have so much fun together! She will buy them lots of toys, tell stories, train them and they could watch movies snuggling on the sofa too! 

“M-hm, sort of. Don’t forget they are not plushies, please. They need to eat properly and stay clean and healthy. Right now they eat porridge and drink milk, after a month you can start giving them raw meat in small portions. The oilcloths for their poop are in the drawers somewhere over there” he waved towards the kitchen island.

“Of course!” Harley might yell too loud, as the man cringed. “Don’t worry, I will be the best momma ever!”

“Don’t make me regret this decision, for the love of everything holly” he muttered, standing up. The girl followed, placing the cubs back into their box. “These are apartment’s keys. It’s fully at your disposal, just make sure no one notices you”. Joker put the small set of keys in Harley’s hand. 

“Do they have names?” Now Joker was less confident, fidgeting, as if he was ashamed of something.

“The one with the black dot on his ear is Bud, the other one is Lou”. 

“Bud and Lou, huh?” Harley looked down at the little hyenas, that were studying her back with their smart bluish eyes. A broad smile grew on her face and she turned back to her boss “I think it’s extra cute!”

“U-huh” he hummed in agreement. Finally at ease, Joker shyly smiled back.

What an odd life they both were leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is not boring, but I can't go straight to action and drama without a plot building. From this point things are going to enrol pretty fast, mark my words ;o)  
> Hope you enjoyed your reading and let me know what you think in the comments! They always make my heart melt~


	4. They cry bitterly

In the past few weeks Harley and her new little friends became very attached to each other. Bud and Lou were growing up too fast for the girl’s liking. She would regularly double their food portion and was considering to start giving them meat soon. They were such fast learners. She had already trained them how to sit, lay and come over. The blonde hadn’t seen her boss since he had showed her his back up apartment for the first time, but they texted regularly about the hyenas’ being.  
In other words, Harleen was extremely pleased with her life. Right now she was at the Gotham City Mall, shopping for some more interesting pet toys. And more resistant, as the puppies were tearing apart literally anything that found a way into their mouths. Sliding between the shelves that smelled of dog food, the girl hummed happily to herself. It was a wonderful day, the weather could wish better, as it was raining again, but otherwise everything went smoothly up to the afternoon. 

No one expected the alarm sirens to turn on. People allover the mall started to fuss around. They knew that alarms in Gotham weren’t promising anything good and they were right. Someone behind the speakers cleared their throat and then, a voice Harley knew too well filled the building:

“Ladies, gentlemen and dear children of Gotham!” The Joker announced cheerfully “I heartedly congratulate you, as you have won a special invitation to participate in a most fun game ever!” Everyone began to panic. People rushed towards the main entrance, bumping and stepping on each other, only to find it closed shut and guarded by a group of goons in clown masks and make up. Within a couple of seconds, Harley was the only person left in the pet store, and one of the few left on the second floor in general. The crowd was enlarging on the ground floor, screaming and whining, as the Clown Prince of crime continued to talk “Now listen closely, my lovely participants. This wonderful building is mined with three bombs that can detonate whenever I find it appropriate. But! The person that finds one of the bombs is coming out alive, hehe! So, don’t waste your time and maybe you will get to trash talk your coworkers again tomorrow! Good luck” and the speakers went off. There was a dead silence for a moment. Then, the mess had begun. People were running in every direction, pushing each other violently and destroying the place by searching the explosives. Some didn’t want to participate in this horror and instead tried to push their way through the guards, only to get shot and emerge even more hysteria from others.  
Harley was trembling like an aspen leaf. She decided to hide inside the pet store, going through various decisions in her head anxiously. What should she do? She definitely couldn’t stay here, nor could she come to the goons and ask them to let her leave, as they would immediately shoot her dead without a second thought, even if she told them that she worked for their boss.  
Now the reality of the situation had finely sinked into her brain. Just what had Harleen got herself into. She thought on the moments they shared, on Bud and Lou, on how she fell asleep on His shoulder. How could it be the same person that played with innocent citizens’ lives like that? He was so charming and funny that she easily forgot that this man was a monster. Harley felt wetness on her eyes and her vision blurred. The girl tilted her head up and a camera in the corner of the room caught her eye. She knew what to do.  
With limbs shaking, she crawled into the main hall and towards the closest camera. She stood in front of it, the way she was fully visible, and started to wave her hands at the watching device. The teen continued doing that for good six minutes until she was starting to feel stupid and awkward. With that, she switched to just wandering around the empty area, while still being at the camera’s full disposal. She was starting to lose any hope when she heard heavy footsteps coming over. Harley turned around and faced a short bulky clown with a machine gun. 

“Ya Harley?” He asked flatly, almost bored.

“Yeah” she breathed in response. He nodded and turned around, walking back from where he had come.

“Follow me. Th’boss wanna see ya” he threw at her. Harley obliged, hurrying over to the goon.

He led her through the entire hall to the fire escape passage. There they used the stairs to come up to the fourth floor and continued their way through the corridor. Bodies started to appear. Security guards laying on the floor, blood splattered beside them. Harley felt vomit building its way up her throat, but she fought over the need to throw up. She refused to believe in what was happening. It was just a weird dream, she said to herself. It didn’t help the knowledge that whatever she was experiencing right now, people down there were facing much worse.  
Lost in her thought, she didn’t notice how they found themselves in front of a metal door with a sign ‘staff only’. The short clown knocked on the door and after a muffled “Come in”, opened it, pushing Harley inside.

“Girl s’ere boss” he announced, as emotionless as before.

“Fantastic work, Archie! You may go” came Joker’s sing-song voice from the camera set, where he placed himself comfortably into the rolling chair, watching crowds fighting on the many little screens. Archie left, without any hesitation. They were alone in this half dark room, illuminated by the blues of the tv boxes. Joker rolled in his chair to face his young associate, his face stern and brows furrowed. 

“What on Earth are YOU doing here?” His voice wasn’t playful anymore. Harley’s mom usually used this intonation when she was scolding her for misbehaviour. 

“Just buying stuff for Bud and Lou” the girl mumbled, her voice shaking. She was genuinely scared of him, for the first time since their first meeting, and even than she hadn’t been that frightened. The green haired clown rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

“From all stores and malls allover this petty city, you chose this. ‘S not even close to your home!”

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.

“I’m sorry? Could you repeat that?” He put his hand behind his ear in a mocking gesture. She was pissing him off and it was visible.

“Why are you doing this” Harley repeated, louder this time.

“Oh, whyyy am I dooing this?” He pretended to ponder on the question, looking up to the ceiling “Oh, I think I got this!” He stared her dead in the eyes, hissing “Because I want to”. He stood up and levelled with Harley, towering over her tiny posture. Joker was dressed at his best - shoes polished so well you could see your reflection on them, velvet suit in the colour of a ripe plum, makeup applied carefully and a cruel smile on his face. “I warned you, didn’t I? I told you not to make your delusions misjudge me as whatever you decided me to be”. He tugged at her ear like one would do with a guilty child. “But you didn’t listen! You decided that you will be all brave and what? Tame me with your adorable stutter?” Harley felt tears storm down her cheeks and she couldn’t help it. He was completely right and there was nothing to do about it. Joker waved his free hand at the screens “What can I say now? Enjoy the show! You’ve been lucky enough to get the front row in our little cinema-de-jour, ha!” He tugged her by the ear towards the security set and seated her in the chair. Harley couldn’t help but stare at the violence enrolling on the cameras. There was no sound, but she could see that people were screaming angrily at each other.

“You want to know why I do this?” He whispered to her from behind, his breath that smelled of cigarettes and caramel tickled her hair “Look at them. They don’t have a clue that there is no bomb. If they would just sit calmly and wait for help, no one would get hurt. But they are so desperate to survive that they would murder each other if needed. I’m just giving them an opportunity to show their true selves”.

“Wait. There are no bombs?”

“Of course there are no bombs, silly!” He giggled and than poked his gloved finger at the screen that showed the hall on the ground floor, where a group of people sat and silently prayed. “Look at these fine men and women. At some point police is going to break in and free them. All because they were intelligent enough not to indulge into the madness. Now look at these idiots,” he gestured towards the camera where five men were fighting over on who would be lucky enough to check the pantry “they will definitely kill each other at some point. Not my fault that some fellas are too greedy to share”. 

“You… you sick bastard” she whimpered “what about the security guards? They were just doing their job. They were innocent!”

“Oh well, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, am I right?” He then laughed at his own pun. Harley jumped on her feet and faced the terrorist. Crying bitterly, she started to punch his chest with her small fists.

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” She shouted over and over, while Joker was laughing, absolutely satisfied with himself, or so it seemed to be. When her behaviour started to bother him, he caught her hands in his, clenching the girl’s limbs tightly.

“Tsk-tsk, my dear pumpkin pie, what have you expected?” He bent over to her height “Have you thought that maybe, I would fall in love with you, forget my grudges towards this city and Batsy, and we will dance our way through the aurora, holding hands and signing songs, hmm?” He snickered. Harley didn’t answer, weeping to herself. 

“Oh no!” He exclaimed dramatically, turning to his imaginary listeners “She really had though that! Oh Mamma Mia!” He than shoved her away. His next words hit her harder than a belt “Go away. You are fired. If I see your mug ever again, I’m going to kill you on site. Archie would lead you through the safe way.” She stared at him, in disbelief. Everything was happening too fast, she couldn’t process it. “Oh, and give me the keys from my apartment” he stretched his hand to her in expectation.

“No!” She cried out, as an image of two lovely puppies that waited for her faithfully came to her mind. “You can’t do that to me!”

“Keys, Harley” he cut off coldly. 

“I don’t have them right now” she lied. He clearly didn’t buy it but said:

“Alright, I will come there in the evening, you will give me keys and we will not see each other ever again”. 

“O-okay” she chocked on air. Uncomfortable under his intense gaze, Harley turned around and left the room.

****

She was destroyed. Harley didn’t realise how much this man meant to her until now. In a month, he managed to plague all her thoughts, he became her whole world. Accepting that she would have to move on and leave the Joker behind was harder than acknowledging that he was a cold blooded murderer.  
Harley was standing in front of the door that lead to the troublesome apartment. She was scared to go inside. She got fond of it too. Lately the girl had been spending more time in the comfort of the cappuccino colored walls than at home. Taking a deeb breath, Harleen turned the keys in the lock and stepped in. Immediately she was greeted by two fluffy tornados that started to jump at the girl and lick her hands. 

“Oh, my babies” not handling it, Harley began to cry. The little hyenas sensed that something was wrong and even stopped their excited giggling, nuzzling their mom in comfort. She sat on her knees and embraced puppies in a tight hug, burying tears in their fur that just started to become lighter and show signs of future pattern. 

‘From all stores and malls allover this petty city, you chose this’ echoed his displeased voice in the blond’s head. Why indeed? Why did she picked GC Mall? She would be more than happy to proceed avoiding the truth and continue to live in a happy imaginary world she had built up. A world where Joker was just her quirky secret friend that caused harmless mischief, where they would raise Bud and Lou together, eat ice-cream in the park and one day, Harley would confess him her true feelings and he would return them. Pathetic. Now she saw how indeed stupid she had been. ‘Wherever I go - there is blood and chaos. I love that. I wouldn’t want it any other way’ he had told her that night in the cafeteria. The man had already knew that she was going to react that way at the first act of violence coming from him. That’s why he never treated her seriously, he was ready for her to back off and run away in the heat of the moment. And she did just that.  
She tightened her grip on hyenas, caressing them with both hands. Harley stood up, taking the cubs up with her and placed herself on the sofa, switching TV on. The live broadcast from the mall immediately popped up on the screen.

“…ight now GCPD is rescuing the hostages. We don’t know yet how many victims there are. Police have found seven deceased at the moment” the female reporter that stood in front of the building stated “The group of the assailants is subdued, however, there is no sign of Joker’s presence recorded yet. The priority of the moment is to find all the bombs and defuse them. We are worried that the culprit might escape while the capture group is occupied” she sighed mournfully “Vicky Vale for GC News”.

“Thank you, Vicky” the main screen changed to the program host, as the live frame went smaller, showing the crying hostages coming out of the mall, accompanied by the men in the Special Forces uniform. “Well, that could be prevented if our self proclaimed Dark Knight would show up in the day light. But, apparently, he is too dedicated to his ‘Bat’ theme. Which brings up the question - is Batman really doing it for Gotham citizens? Or is he just indulging his own sick fantasies?” A smudged picture of the vigilant in the night sky appeared on top of the mall footage and the host started a monologue about how sick, in fact, Dark Knight was and that he belonged in Arkham Asylum alongside with the likes of Joker. The screen went black as Harley switched it off. 

“Well, little ones. This might be the last time we see each other,” her voice was weak “but I’m still gonna feed and play the heck outta ya!” With that, she went over to the kitchen and started to cook milky porridge, with the energetic puppies hopping around her impatiently. After she filled their bowls and the cubs ate everything, Harley showed them their new toys. They spent the rest of the day playing and laughing together on the floor. Harleen managed to relax a little bit, deciding to enjoy the moment while she still could. 

When the darkness started to consume the sky, making it overflow from orange to red and plum, there was a sound behind the entrance and the doorknob turned, letting in the infamous criminal. Bud and Lou rushed towards their owner, greeting him with the same enthusiasm they had with Harley. 

“Hey there, boys! Long time no see, huh?” Joker started to fool around with his pets, tickling them. Harley observed them from behind with a bitter tightness in her chest. Right now she was wearing a pair of grey leggings and a t-shirt, with her hair in a loose ponytail, as she always did around here, having the cosy set of clothes in her sports bag every time she visited. The picture they had found themselves in right now looked too close to what she had been dreaming of. Joker wasn’t wearing any makeup, a simple black raincoat with a hood covering his green hair and a pair of faded denim jeans instead of fancy suit pants. It would be so easy to pretend that nothing happened. The clown turned his head in teen’s direction and smile on his face fell, forming into a frown. He stood up and stared at her, silently.  
Harley caught herself choking on air and, loosing any ability in handling this situation, in a couple of wide steps she bumped into the man and embraced him in a tight hug, sobbing.

“Please don’t go away. I will do anything you want just don’t go away” she weeped into his chest. For some time they stayed like that, with Harley’s muffled cry being the only sound that filled the room. Joker broke the spell by sighing loudly and placing his hand on top of the girl’s head, ruffling her light hair. 

“You are so clingy, pumpkin” he sounded exhausted, but underneath that she could hear notes of amusement in his tone.

Harley snorted. She was indeed very clingy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter Holidays! :)
> 
> When this fanfic will get to 100 kudos, I'm going to make a part of this chapter into a comic strip!


	5. They hope for the best

Five thousand dollars. Harley stared at the green banknotes in her hands dumbly. After her outburst in the evening, Joker had handed her a stack of money and smirked at the girl, murmuring “You deserved this”. She glanced at his sleeping form on the demolished couch, Bud and Lou tucked beside him, out in the dreamland as well. It was 6 in the morning, yet Harleen was more fresh and awaken than ever.   
He had stayed at the apartment, not to alert any more attention when the police was on his toes. Stressed and still in shock from the recent events, the girl couldn’t find it in herself to leave as well. It was absolutely irrational, but she felt more safe and comforted by his side than at home. She didn’t want to dwell on what it said about her - a girl than accepted a murderer with all consequences that would come with it just because she liked him. That was horrible, selfish and reckless from any point of view. Yet here she was, with five wads in her hands and a hole in her chest. She didn’t know what to do with both of these problems. One thing Harley was certain about - she wanted to fill that hole with new memories and emotions. If she couldn’t live in the imaginary world, she would make the best out of the real one. 

Come to speak of it, Harley was expecting him to kick her out right after she had thrown herself at him, crying. Yet, he gave her money and mildly ignored her presence in the apartment after that. The rest of the evening and a good half of the night they had spent watching TV on mute in the darkness. The news were still highlighting the recent terrorist attack, on how the police was still looking for the bomb and the mall was likely to be closed for several days. While Joker was focusing his attention on the screen, his young associate was studying him. He didn’t look satisfied, happy with his job or anything of that sort. The criminal looked at the events enrolling on the channel without any emotion, even bored. There was no regret, as well as there was no pride. She almost asked him again on why was he doing it but caught herself in time to stay silent. She would safe that question for later.  
It was the most awkward sleepover Harley ever had. Around 3 am, Joker switched off the TV set and turned his back to her, apparently reading himself for sleep. She just laid there, in a complete darkness, listening to her own heartbeat and a cute snoring of puppies. She ended up getting only two hours of sleep until she woke up from a kick on her shoulder. It was her boss, who switched his pose and now was laying on his back, head titled high and mouth agape. 

The girl pushed herself up from the couch and strolled towards the wide windows, looking outside. The dawn looked wonderful. Colours going from cold blue-grey to a warm pink and red. She had always liked dawns better than dusks, but it was a rare occasion when she could experience the sunrise. Maybe it was the reason why it seemed so magical and powerful.

“Hey” came a ruff voice from the pillows. She turned her head to look at him again, and Joker stared back with sleepy eyes “Whatimisit”.

“English please” The criminal didn’t respond to her request, clearly expecting Harley to figure out his mumble on her own. Sighing, she obliged “It’s 6 am”.

“Huh” was all that followed. She watched how he stood up, stretching limbs and wandered towards the kitchen island clumsily. The man rummaged there for something and when he found what he was looking for, which were a coffee pot and grains, started to brew the energetic drink. 

Hyenas had also woken up, startled by the clenching noise of the dishes. Both of them followed the sound and were now investigating what was happening on the kitchen.

“So uh, what are the plans for today?” Harley asked, coming over to the place of action as well. She set some bread into the toaster.

“Well, I’m gonna wait until 10 and than go back to my domain, don’t know about you though”. He turned off the boiling dark liquid and poured it in his cup. After a small pause, he turned to her with another empty cup “Want some?” 

“Ah, yeah, sure, yes” she nodded as if to confirm it once more. He raised an eyebrow at the girl and poured some coffee for her as well. 

They sat at the bar table, seeping on their mugs awkwardly.

“Shouldn’t you go to school today or something?” He broke the silence. Actually, she should, as it was Wednesday. But after the mall event, she didn’t want to see anyone of her classmates and teachers, especially as they all would talk about the attack. She had warned her parents that she was staying with a friend from the cheerleader team, so they were not about to check on her either. 

“Mister Joker” she started, watching the thin layer of foam swimming in her cup, “can I, by chance, join you today?”

“Gee, Harls. Stop calling me mister Joker, it’s really weird. J or Joker’s fine. And no, you can’t, by chance, join me”.

“Please! I will be very silent and won’t touch anything!”

“For God’s sake, Harley! No means no! Why are you so fucking needy?!” He was loosing his patience again, not quite shouting yet but very close to start. Adolescent girls with daddy issues wasn’t something he wanted to deal with at six in the morning. 

Silence filled the room once again, interrupted only by Bud and Lou’s giggling while they played with each other.

“Mister J,” the clown smirked at the new nickname. He could work with this one “there is this thing, I know you are probably very busy and don’t have time for such tasteless events, but it would mean a lot to me, I mean, not like you are obliged to…”

“Harley, cut off with mumbling. You know how I hate it”.

“Would you like to see my performance this Friday?” She breathed out in one go.

“Performance, as in gymnastics?”

“Yeah”.

“What time?”

“4 pm”.

“Alright, I’ll come”.

She stared at him in disbelief. Harley wasn’t really hoping for that he would agree, already imagining how he would call her stupid and that he didn’t have time for this. Instead, Joker was smiling at her, for the first time since their encounter in the mall. And his smile was appreciative, almost kind. She should give up on trying to figure out what was going on in that green head of his.  
“R-really? You will?” He nodded, before pouring more coffee in his cup “Thank you. That really means a lot to me,” a happy smile found its way on her reddening face “It’s in my school, but in a different section. I’ll show ya later”.

“You shall try harder than the time I fell asleep watching you though, pumpkin”.

At that, she threw a fresh toast at his smug face. Things seemed to be getting better again.

***

Last time she was that anxious before a competition was almost a year ago. Harleen peeped from the competitors entrance at what was happening on the stadium, heart racing. ‘That’s a regular school performance. You have done it billion times before. Nothing to worry about’ she was calming herself. But that wasn’t just ANY competition. He was down there, on the watcher tribune. She had seen him before the start in the hall, walking in with everyone else. Their eyes met and the disguised man winked at her. 

The girl from the neighbour school had finished her run and now was going towards the backstage, meaning - in Harley’s direction. She smirked at the blonde when levelled with her, obviously satisfied with her results. Harley scoffed - she knew that she could do better. 

“And now, the star of Gotham High and the silver winner of the New Jersey teen athlete competition, Harleen Quinzel!” The crowd cheered enthusiastically, as she was one of the leader GH representatives today. She took a deep breath and, putting on her best Barbie smile, walked graciously on the playground. While she was reaching the starting point, Harley searched her boss with her eyes. And there he was, sitting a few raws above her excited family, an amused look on his normally tanned face. Her heart clenched. She didn’t know why he was doing this, but it meant everything to her and the teen was grateful for his presence.

And so, she started her show. Everything was going smoothly, she jumped graciously on the crossbars, shifting her weight from toes to hands and backwards. She didn’t know how it happened and wouldn’t be able to explain it in the future, but something went off. Coming from nowhere, she felt a horrible pain stinging through her entire leg and with a cry she fell to the ground.   
Immediately, she was surrounded by paramedics and concerned teachers. Harley was mortified. But it was not the pain in her leg that bothered her, it was the endless embarrassment and shame that took over the girl. She didn’t dare to look up at the tribunes.

***

Knee dislocation. That’s what the good doctor had said. After everything she had been through, it was a stupid knee dislocation that got her. Now she was disqualified from any sport activities for a couple of months and it was in question if she would ever be able to continue participating in big competitions. As if it wasn’t enough to make her feel miserable, mrs. Quinzel had shouted out her lugs, screaming bloody murder at her daughter about being an unresopinsible brat. Harley didn’t care. She only worried about one thing, or better say, one person’s opinion. Sitting on the bench in the medical cabinet, while her parents were talking to the doctor, Harley took out her smartphone. She froze for a second when she saw a new message from ‘Puddin’ popping up on the small screen.

“Hey little one. That was one hell of a show! You really outdid yourself this time - sure the beginning was quite boring but the end… Bravissimo!” Followed by:

“Who would have thought that I would spend such a great time!”

Ha. Ha-ha. What else could be expected.

“Glad that you enjoy seeing me suffer. My knee is dislocated :( “ she tapped back. To her surprise, the answer came back quickly:

“Boo-hoo. Want me to kiss it better?” The phone burned in her hands. Was this for real? She nervously replied:

“I wouldn’t mind ;)”.

“Pft. You wish, looooser! :P”

Again, what else could be expected. 

“Why do you have this stupid face” came a kid’s voice from another corner of the bench. Ah, Barry. Of course. Here to serve her an additional portion of annoyance.

“If you see a stupid face, that must be a mirror, not me” she bitted back. Harley might be too old to act this way around her baby brother, but he as well could put more effort and support her in this situation. He was 10, after all.

“You are blushing and smiling like a weirdo. You look dumb” the boy assured her.

“Thank you for giving an opinion no one cares about, Barry. Now, shut up”.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Wow, he was way too observant today and his sister didn’t like it one bit.

“No, Barry, I don’t have a boyfriend. And even if I did - it’s non of your business. Now play some Minecraft on your phone and leave me alone”. 

“I will tell ma and dad”. 

“Go on, try your luck. It will be like that time you snitched that I took your pocket money and no one believed you - because it’s not true again”. At that he showed her his middle finger. What a little jerk. The phone that Harley still held in her hand vibrated.

Puddin: “I will feed Bud and Lou in the evening. Take your sweet rest, chicken leg”. 

And it was actually very nice of him, she thought.

***

Harley spent the entire Saturday at home, doing nothing and thinking about everything. It was around 7 pm when there was an unexpected tap on her window. She stopped sipping on her cherry coke and browsing web on the laptop, turning her head in the sound’s direction. Next moment she was opening the fence in a hurry, as her green haired boss was there, with absolutely no disguise whatsoever and a face white as snow that nobody peed on.

“Why didn’t you warn me that you would come over? What if someone have seen you?! It’s still light outside! And my parents can come in any second now!” She started to fuss over him. 

“Sh-sh, chill down a little” Joker shushed her, taking the girl by the shoulders. “There is something I need to show you. How’s your leg doing?”

“Like any leg the second day after the injuring. Pretty bad”.

“Whatever. Let’s go” he jumped over the window slat again and now was looking at her expectedly from the fire escape.

“Are you serious? You want me to go down from a fire escape with a knee injury?” He nodded, unbothered. The longer he stood there, the more there was a chance someone would see him. She sighed.

“Fine, give me a sec” she limped towards the door and opened it slightly, shouting into the corridor “Mom, I don’t feel very well. I think I will go to bed early, alright?”

“Of course, sweetie! That’s what I’ve been telling you to do the entire day. Good night!” Was shouted in reply. Relieved that there was no suspicion, Harley locked her door and moved towards the window.

“Could you, maybe, help me?” From her observance, it would be quite a complicated task to climb over the slat on her own. Apparently, this was only her opinion. 

“Nah. Figure it out yourself, princess” he didn’t wait for her anymore and started to go down the stairs. What a nice compassionate guy. Greeting her teeth when the leg showed its discomfort, Harley moved out, finding herself on the staircase as well. He had already jumped down on the ground and was waiting for her there. It took the girl sometime to reach the end of the stairs, but she did it. Looking down from what seemed still a way too big gap between the escape and asphalt, she mused disapprovingly:

“If you tell me now that I need to jump, I will go home and never talk to you ever again”.

“Now now, no need to be so dramatic, pumpkin pie! Come ‘ere, uncle J will catch ya!” He even came closer and opened his hands wide in invitation. 

Sincerely hoping he won’t change his mind halfway through for the sake of laughing at her misery, Harley jumped down. And was embraced by a pair of surprisingly strong arms. She didn’t even have time to enjoy the moment of closeness as he started to spin around, while also moving somewhere. That’s how they found themselves in front of a very regular grey car. He put her down in front of the passenger door and in a few seconds, the clown was already in the driver’s seat. 

“Hope in!”

Hesitating for a moment, Harleen obeyed and set herself into the car. 

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise” he winked mischievously. Joker turned the keys, switching on the motor, and started to drive out of the neighbourhood they both knew so well. 

“By the way, why have you never told me your surname? It’s fantastic!” What a weird change of theme in the dialog. Harley was confused. What was fantastic about her second name? She always thought it was weird and sounded off.

“Uh, you never asked? Why?” 

“Can’t you see it? Harley Quinzel. Erase some letters in the end and it will be Harley Quinn!”

“Like harlequin. Huh” she had never thought about it, though now it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. “I like it” she decided, with a smile.

“Like it? I love it! That’s the best name someone can be born with. You should be proud of it. Heck, I am proud of it!”

The masochistic butterflies in the girl’s stomach were doing something crazy right now. As the two of them drove into the dusk, a new born Harley Quinn rubbed her knee and looked on the beautiful sea horizon, suddenly feeling safe and certain that everything will be fine. Didn’t matter that she might never participate in the gymnastic competition again. Didn’t matter that now she had no choice but to choose a new career path. Definitely didn’t matter that her brother suspected something. The only thing that felt important was this car and the erratic man that drove it. They moved further and further away from the main city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highlights for those who are waiting for the comic strip for the previous chapter - it's in development! It's exhaustingly hard and I kinda hate it and love it at the same time? It will be a 4 chapter long scene of Joker and Harley arguing in the mall :) The first page is complete and the second is almost ready to go as well. With luck, I will be able to finish it next week. And don't forget to leave a kudo to speed up the process! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry not sorry for the cliff hanger~  
> Thank you for all your nice feedback and support! That means a lot to me ^^


	6. They runaway on secret dates

Soft wind tickled the weird couple’s hair, as they got out of the car, moving towards their final destination. It was getting warmer and warmer with every day, the weather acknowledging summer that was about to start in a couple of weeks. The two lonely figures strolled down the wide road, leaving behind a raw of small cafeterias and thrift stores with colourful design, a good part of which were abandoned. Harley knew the name of this area, she always wanted to explore it, but the zone was known to be dangerous. No one with common sense and the least level of self-preservation would go here on free will. He brought her to the Amusement Mile. Once, it was a very popular part of Gotham and the local showplace. There was a huge park with attractions, lots of independent theatres and comedy bars. Now it was all abandoned, as the place was populated with thugs, mobs and hobos. There were rumours that here was the second biggest gun traffic in NJ, the first one being under the Iceberg Lounge and that people would disappear in this area and never return. This territory, as well, belonged to Joker and everyone knew it.   
They stopped in front of the park entrance. The clown looked down at his associate, a side smile on his mischievous face. 

“Well,” he said “you wanted to see my headquarters?” The man made a broad wave in the park’s direction “Voila! Here it is. Allow me to make you a tour” he offered the girl his elbow, which she grabbed, sporting a small smile herself. “I assure you, m’lady, you won’t be disappointed!”

They entered the empty amusement park, as he was still talking.  
“Lovely t-shirt, by the way”. Harley looked down and groaned in annoyance. She was so preoccupied with the idea of spending more time with her boss, that she completely forgot to change from her domestic clothes. That’s how the young girl ended up rocking yoga pants and a t-shirt with a pink unicorn printed on it. Good thing she had enough brains to at least put on sneakers and not fluffy slippers she wore at home. As for the clown, he was wearing a surprisingly hipster oriented attire, which was very uncommon. He either dressed as if he was about to attend a Gala dinner any minute, or put on something plain to make a good disguise. Now, he was wearing purple pinstriped sweatpants, a dark t-shirt with a low v-neck and a long dark blue cardigan, accompanying with white laceless sneakers, yet he wasn’t wearing any makeup. Harley didn’t have a clue what was that about. Did he want to impress her? Was this a date?! Now she was incredibly embarrassed with herself. He clearly had put an effort into all of this and than there was Harley, dressed as a ten year old. Great. The fact that she was limping didn’t help either.   
“You know what’s great about abandoned parks? Free attractions!” He tugged her towards the shooting gallery. Harley hissed at the numb pain that the harsh movement caused to her leg. Joker fiddled with something behind the hosting counter and switched on the game. The multicoloured lamps turned on and a cheery tune filled the air, as the targets started to move. He then put a gun in her hands, smiling broadly. Harley couldn’t remember him being in such a good mood before. “I hope you know how to use this thing”.

“Uh, sort of?” She murmured, studying the blue automat. It’s been a while since she had been in a shooting gallery. Last time was around eight years ago, she had been barely able to see anything above the counter due to her short height and she recalled that her dad had won her a big blue teddy bear. That’s where her relationship with shooting found its end. Encouraged by Joker’s excited face expression, she levelled the gun, squinted her eyes and with a straight back she shot… into the wall. Not even close to any of the targets. 

“Sort of, you say”. She ignored him and tried to shoot again. The pellet hit a completely different part of the wall, close to the ceiling.

“Wow. You could be a sniper, Harls!” The blonde rolled her eyes. Why was he mocking her? It was obvious that an average teenager wasn’t anywhere close to even the sloppiest of thugs. “Live and learn” his voice was extremely bumptious. He drew out of nowhere a real gun, a very beautiful handiwork, certainly customised, as it had purple card ornaments allover the dark shaft. Without much effort, he did multiply shots, hitting all of the targets right in the middle, heavy bullets leaving big holes in the carton. That was very impressive. Not like she would tell it to his smug face. Instead, she tried to sound as bored as she could:

“Show off”. He blew a rosemary and motion with his gun to the wall that had restarted the game. 

“Go on than, show me some masterclass, pumpkin”.

“Watch me”. The next five minutes they’ve spent regarding as the little pellets flew allover the place, only once hitting a corner of a target. 

“Okay-okay, stop this perversion” Joker took the blue gun from her and recharged it. After that he returned it to Harley, standing accurately beside her, chest to the teen’s back. Her breath hitched as his spidery fingers adjusted her grip on the automat and positioned it higher, on her eye level. He bended her back a bit forward and placed the end of the weapon that way it was touching her chest under the right shoulder. “Now look at the gun sight. It should be right in the centre of your vision. Focus on that spot. And don’t forget to put the muzzle a bit lower, you always face it somewhere to the ceiling” his calm voice was soothing her more than anything. She was very tempted to lean her back on the criminal and stay there, relaxing. But she doubted he would be a fan of that. “Now, hold tighter” his hands laid on top of hers, pressuring on her grip “and let go”.

The pellet went straight to the target, hitting just a little below the centre. Harley squealed in delight. 

“See, s’not that difficult when you put a little effort” she couldn’t see his face but his voice sounded pleased as well. Together they shot the rest of the targets, never missing. 

“Congrats, my Harley Quinn! You’ve successfully murdered your first five inanimate objects! That just begs for a reward” he took a smartphone from his pocket and tapped something on it. Then they waited for something, Harley wasn’t sure for what. She looked around. It was getting darker and the only light in the big park went from the shooting gallery. Quite a beautiful view. After around ten minutes a tall bleach blonde man appeared, he walked towards them, two big boxes of popcorn in his hands and an indifferent look on his scarred face. It did change though, when he spotted Harley. He looked taken aback and surprised for a moment, but quickly gathered himself and handed the carton boxes with deliciously smelling snack to Joker. The latter smiled broadly and grabbed the food.

“Thanks, Jonny boy! You are the bestest! Or best? Whatever the word is - you are free!” But the man, whose name was supposedly Jonny, didn’t go anywhere. He hesitated, eyeing Harley with slight worry. 

“Um, not like it’s any of my business, but how old is this girl, Boss?” 

“Eight, Jonny. Now get out of my eye!” The criminal mastermind bit back in a surprisingly cheery voice. Not willing to test where his boss’ good mood ended, Jonny hurried to retire. 

“Ah, good ol’ Jonny” said the clown, looking at the man’s figure that was moving further and further away from them, in the direction of the park’s entrance. “He’s very loyal and handy, but always tries to shove his shitty personal opinion everywhere!” He tsked, shaking his head in disapproval. “Anyways! Let’s go, jail bait. I have something absolutely a-ma-zing to show ya!” 

He took off in an unknown direction, managing to sprint and not loose any popcorn on his way. Truly a man of many talents. Harley hurried to follow. The mysterious ‘amazing’ thing turned out to be a not workable ferris wheel. The girl lifted an eyebrow at her greening companion, unimpressed. That didn’t affect him, as the lunatic put the boxes on a bench and stormed into the small cabin beside the wheel. He rummaged there for a moment or two, and then the attraction came to life, bright lights, it seemed, were illuminating the entire amusement mile. 

“Oops, this is too much” came Joker’s voice out of the cabin. He switched something and the lighting got much lower, only a couple of lamps left, surrounding the big circle in a soft yellow-pink embrace. “Now that’s better!” He announced, going outside with a small remote in his hand. “Can you hold these for a sec?” He motioned at the popcorn with his free hand. Curious, Harley picked up the boxes, while Joker did something with the remote and the lowest cabin moved towards the attraction’s entrance. The man climbed towards it and opened the metal gate that lead to the cabin. “Ladies first” he muttered, inviting her in, his face expression scheming. Meanwhile, Harley, with an absolutely zero idea on where this was going, walked towards the clown, who then helped her to get into the cabin and hoped in himself. He pushed a blue button on the remote and the wheel started to move. 

“Ah, finally. Some quality Me Time” he sighed, relaxing into the seat. “Gimme that” he grabbed one popcorn box from Harley and started to chew on his snack, sighing again and closing his eyes.   
Their cabin was slowly getting higher, further and further from the ground and up into the evening sky. The said sky was a beautiful combination of soft colours - mauve, plum, peach and yellow. They were somewhere in the middle of the wheel now, so not much could be seen, but certainly the sea breeze up here was way more palpable. With that thought, the girl in the very same unicorn t-shirt shivered, feeling goosebumps running down her bare hands. Then something dark blue flew at her face, covering the teen’s eyes. It smelled of fresh laundry and cigarettes. She removed the thing from her face and looked at it, discovering it to be Joker’s cardigan. Harley looked at the man in question.

“You look like an icicle. Put that thing on” he simply shrugged, throwing more popcorn into his mouth. 

“Oh, thank you” she quickly wrapped herself into the warmness of the soft cloth, it was heated by his body. “Who would have thought that you can be quite a gentleman”.

“Pft, don’t exaggerate - I mean, you are now useless as it is with that leg thing. What value would be left in you if you catch a cold?”

“Yeaah, I’m sure that is the reason” Harley mocked him on purpose, as his discomfort, that started to break through the mask of indifference, was showing up more and more until the criminal gave into it:

“You know, it’s quite a long way to fly from this height. Especially with a broken leg”. Indeed, they were getting higher. The sea view was starting to show itself, small waves glistening with the sky’s reflection. This ferris wheel was impressively large, but knowing that it used to be a popular Gotham area, it came as no surprise. Harley looked at the box in her hands and, pondering, took one roasted corn flake. She rotated the white little bulb with her fingers, thinking if her idea was worth it. As a smirk grew on her face, the girl decided that yes, it was absolutely worth it. Next second she was throwing that little piece of corn at Joker, hitting his cheek. The look on his face was priceless, as Harley couldn’t help it but laughed out loud. Soon her laugh transformed into a screech, as the clown was avenging by dripping a whole bunch of corn on the top of her head. They were fighting like that for some time until Joker looked around the cabin and, murmuring something that sounded like “here is the spot”, stopped the wheel by pressing that blue button on the remote again.   
They were now on the very top of the attraction, where a breathtaking view on the entire Gotham City, surrounded by multicoloured water, laid in front of their eyes. Like this, you could see the true power of this unusual megapolis, it was both close and faraway at the same time. The darkness was slowly consuming the horizon and the tall buildings were already littered with many lights. 

“Wow, this… this is so beautiful” was all Harley could manage to say, soaking the unusual visage with her eyes, trying to remember every detail - from how the Wayne tower was reflecting on the water to how the yellow-pink rays of the ferris wheel were playing on Joker’s face. The latter seemed to enjoy the view as well. 

“I go up here whenever I’m feeling funny. Helps me to calm down and do the right thing” he uttered blandly, eyes seemed golden in this lighting, lost in thought.

“Feeling funny?”

“Even monsters like me can get sad, Harls” there was something bitter and tender in his voice that was almost whispering. Not sure what to respond, the girl tried with the most obvious:

“But… you seemed to be in such a good mood today?”

“Oh, yeah” he smirked, as if remembering something funny “I am. It’s this thing… I did something good today” he confessed, finally looking her in the eyes. Harley didn’t reply. It was clear he wanted to let something out. “So, there was this little girl. Like, she is five or six. And, ah, she was crying, and in the Iceberg Lounge of all places. I had some deal with ol’ Ozzie and was waiting for that amateur bird-man to show up and that small gal just stood there in the corner and weeped to herself. She’s all blonde and in a party dress. Reminded me of you. So I came over to her and asked what was up. And…” he inhaled deeply. Whatever it was, it was very hard for him to speak up. “She said that a short ugly man took her from the kindergarten. That he was wearing a tall hat and called himself ‘Mad hatter’”.

“Oh no” Harley felt blood in her veins getting cold. From all Gotham rogues, the Mad Hatter was the one she truly feared. As any young girl should.

“Yup, ‘oh no’ indeed. He kidnapped her and for some reason brought to the Iceberg Lounge. Promised her that they would have a ‘tea party’. Lucky for the kid, he haven’t put one of his hats or masks on her yet. And you know, I am totally fine with him doing whatever he is doing with the hallucinations and hypnosis, we all have our kinks. But, this. This ‘Alice’ thing he keeps milking with little girls… it’s not funny. And if I see something that is not funny, I go mad” he sighed, rubbing his eyelids. “So I stay with the kid until Cobblepot appears. And when he does, he comes with the fucking Hatter himself. And Jervis, this fucking pervert, when he sees me near his new toy, he knows he is knee dip in his own shit. Then everything is just a beautiful mess,” Joker laughs “I remember shoving a tea cup down his throat. Fag won’t be able to swallow properly for months. I would finish him off but Ozzie went with his classic hysterical ‘this is my restaurant’ mode so I had to let him go. Well though, when I explained to Pengu what was going on, he added a few punches with his umbrella as well. As far as I know, Oswald found the girl’s parents and made sure she returned safely”. 

Unconsciously, Harley put her hand on the man’s shoulder, squeezing it. That was one hell of a story. 

“And for the rest of the day I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how we’ve met. I don’t know. I felt the need to check on you and make sure that you are fine”. 

Harley put the obnoxious popcorn boxes away and laid her head on criminal’s shoulder. She covered his white hand with hers. 

“I’m fine. With you - I’m always fine” she whispered. 

While they were speaking, the darkness had fully took over the sky, splashing it with stars that were complimenting the city lights. Up there, it was silent, the only sounds being the waves splashing on each other and the heavy breathing of one complexed clown. And right in that moment, listening to the ambient music of the sea and looking at the nightlife of Gotham evoking, Harley knew she was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daumn this chapter is cheesy. But I hope you like it!   
> If you still haven't seen it - I finished my comic on the chapter four, you can check it out here:
> 
> https://erribeka.tumblr.com/post/184855532132/deargod-i-cant-believe-ive-finished-this
> 
> and here:
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxalr7Hl_tr/
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! See you in the next update ;)


	7. They make decisions

Days were passing by with an enormous speed. Harley found herself visiting Amusement Mile more often than not. At first, Joker would take her with him sometimes to teach Harley shooting and clean up his hideout that the clown showed her on their third visit. It turned out to be a warehouse, where the staff of the park used to store tools for attractions and decorations once. On the top floor, that was placed high above the large ground space, there was a single room, not large, but not petite either. Joker managed to make it look almost homey, dragging there a queen sized bed, a working table, hanging a swing tire and of course, littering the wooden floor with all kinds of weapons, empty candy boxes, newspapers and cigarette butts. The walls were covered with various maps, plans and what Harleen assumed were toxin formulas. Not the most welcoming site, but unlike the rest of the park, at least it looked lively. So, Harley volunteered to help around. The clown, being his sneaky impudent self, didn’t hesitate to load her with all dirty work. Well, considering what he was doing for life, maybe it wasn’t really dirty. Harley did the spring-cleaning once a week, made sure that there was no litter around the lot and after some time, even became responsible for all laundry. Of course, her boss didn’t have time to drive her around on daily basis, so at some point the girl started to make her way from home to the abandoned part of Gotham by tram. The first couple of rides were genuinely scary, as you can imagine what kind of public was using this route. The roguish looking men were eyeing her as an easy prey. Luckily, Joker liked her enough to send Jonny to accompany her for some time. Was it the presence of the grim blonde man or the large Joker-shaped shadow behind him, but the sketchy characters in the tram quickly learned to not even look at her for more than half a second. That’s how Harley started to travel alone, when Jonny got too busy with other perks of their boss. No one would dare to harm her. And Harley would lie if she said that she didn’t like the powerful feeling this attitude gave her. It made her feel cool and important, almost untouchable. As for the Joker, well, he quickly got used to having a handy little helper around. Soon, he brought Bud and Lou to the Mile as well, making it easier for Harley to combine the two of her main responsibilities. However, it also left her exhausted at the end of the day, as she was also studying intensely with the final exams ahead. After a month with this timetable on a loop, she was temporary tired and sleep deprived. Anyone with a common sense would say that she was waisting her life, time and energy on something absolutely worthless. That she should get herself together and focus on education and choosing her future major. Sometimes, after an especially hard day, washing some suspiciously sticky mud off her hands, she would ponder on that. What was she doing? Why? Of course, Joker was paying her regularly, and there was already a large stack of money hidden in her room, soon there would be enough to get a place in the most prestige university in Gotham. But it was not the reason. The reason was hidden in the way he smiled at her sometimes, when he was tired after a long day and returned to see a clean room and a fridge stack with fresh food. His pale face would split in a warm grin, long gloved fingers would ruffle her hair and shoving bags onto the bed, he would drag her towards the shooting gallery, where standing back to chest, she could hear his calm heartbeat. Sometimes they would watch an old movie, or dance, or play make-believe while wandering around the abandoned walking alleys. And his laugh was so genuine in these moments, not cruel or crazy, just a light heartfelt laugh right from the sternum. This laugh made her knees weak and hands trembling. And Harley knew that she would do anything for him, just to hear this laugh more often, to see him smiling at her as if he cared. She had it bad. At school, at home, all she could think of was the tall crooked silhouette with messy green mop of hair. She would doodle his profile in a notebook, sniff and breath in his used clothes while doing laundry, even stole one of his colourful ties, keeping it under her pillow. Harleen was so tangled in the enormous love that was blooming inside her with every day, that she was starting to forget who she was in love with in the first place. Again. And she yet had to meet the consequents for being so careless.

After the knee incident, Harley didn’t have to stay up late at school for training anymore. She was leaving quite early these days. Making a couple of stops on her way, for groceries and treats, she would find herself in Amusement Mile sooner or later. This was one of the many other days like this. Harley left school, stopped by a bakery with an overwhelming smell to buy her boss’s favourite cherry pies, dropped by the pet store for new squishy toys for Bud and Lou, visited makeup store to buy ‘that one fantastic shade of red’ lipstick Joker asked her to get him, and then sat on the train that made its last stop in the Amusement Mile. 

She knew something was off when she wasn’t knocked out of breath by two energetic hyenas. In fact, all that welcomed the girl in the warehouse was tense silence. And a thin trail of blood on the floor that lead to the stock room. Setting bags with stuff on the nearest bench, she carefully started to follow the red trail. The alarms in the blonde’s head where screaming in capital letters to turn around and run away as fast as she could. Of course, she ignored it. The cherry on top of it all was that the only thing that scared and worried Harley was the question if the blood belonged to her darling madman and if he was injured. As she was coming closer to the stock room, she could hear a heavy breathing and hysterical giggling. Her heart clenched and she walked faster, straight to the wide open doors that offered her a twisted picture to observe. In the centre of the bright room, bathing in the sun that shone through the broad windows, stood Joker. He was covered in blood. But before Harley could run towards him for help, she noticed one particular detail. It wasn’t his blood. In fact, the green haired man was unharmed. The deep red that covered his hands and face, dripping from the fingertips and getting dry on his prominent chin, belonged to the man that sat behind him tied up to the chair. Or, better to say, to what was left of that person. He had a giant cut on his big belly, so all his guts went out, laying on the poor stranger’s knees. A tie was wrapped tightly around his neck, the latter twisted at a weird angle and blue. And finally, he didn’t have a nose, as in - someone had bitten it off. 

Feeling nausea building its way up her throat, Harley fell on her knees, dazed. Her brain refused to process the scene she walked into, as if all of the girl’s thinking mechanisms stopped to process, leaving a thick long dash with a question mark at the end. Joker turned around, hearing the soft ‘thump’ of Harley’s body landing on the floor. When their eyes met, Harleen was horrified. It was not the man she knew and loved. It was an unstable psychopath greedy for murder. His eyes were wide open and wild, pupils constricted, the entire face distorted in a grimace only mentally ill people possessed. He was looking at Harley and not recognising her. The teen was so shocked and scared she didn’t know what to do or say. 

“M-mister J?” She tried to call him. Joker ignored her, sick eyes looking somewhere between her and the nearest window, lost. Feeling like she was walking on a field full of mines, the girl slowly stood up, bringing back his attention to her. She did one step towards him and the man tensed. “Mister J? Do you recognise me?” Only now, after looking him up and down she realised he was wearing only old sweatpants and a tank top, something he used to put on only when he stayed at home for the entire day. What exactly had happened here? “Puddin?”

“H… Haaarley?” he finally said, and he sounded like someone with a retarded condition. And then he started to giggle. High pitched, nervous giggle that turned into an uncontrolled laugh. The always elegant, witty and clever Clown Prince of Crime, was now tearing off his hair and making animal noises. When he started to hit himself, Harley rushed to take his hands in hers, gripping hard and trying to put them down. 

“Stop! Stop it! Look at me, Puddin! I’m here, Harley. Your Harley” it seemed to focus him a little bit, as Joker stopped to jerk away and was now inhaling soundly through his mouth. His pale fingers clenched hers tightly, and the madman dragged the girl to sit on the floor with him. 

“My Harley” the clown murmured, calming down. He closed his eyes and stayed like that for a moment or two. When he looked up again, his pupils were back to normal. “I… ah” Joker looked behind him, at the gruesome dead body, then back at Harley, “I am off my meds”.

“I… see”.

“I, ah, this guy,” he waved at the tortured man, his voice sounding as if from a heavy hangover “he was a rat. I just, ah, wanted to teach him a lesson. But I got, umm, carried away”.

“It’s… okay. It’s okay” it wasn’t okay in the slightest, but now was definitely not the time and place to lecture an easily triggered man for morals and ethics. So, instead of accusing him of being a soulless monster, Harley carefully offered: “I bought your favourite pies. They are still warm. And I got that lipstick you wanted. I think… maybe we shall have some calming tea with pastries and trie out that new shade? What do you say?” 

“Uh-uh” he hummed in agreement. His hands, still wrapped tightly around hers, were getting sweaty and cold, shaking in a light tremor.

“Awesome. Now, go take a shower, alright?” She squeezed those trembling hands, and helped him to stand up. He nodded and slowly walked in the bathroom’s direction, slouching more than he usually did. When he left, Harley left out a breath she didn’t knew she was holding. Glancing back at the executed stranger, to her own surprise, she didn’t feel ill or panicked anymore. It had already happened and there was nothing she could do about it. But she knew who could. So, Harleen took out her phone and tapped a message to Jonny:

“Come to the place. We have berries”.

It was on the second week of their trips together, when out of nowhere, always silent John Frost (as he asked her to call him) instructed her what to do in extreme situations. ‘He seems quite fond of you, but you never know with that guy. And you are a good kid’ was what he told her. The two of them decided, that if something seemed to be off, she would write ‘cookies’, if something was definitely bad, but wasn’t threatening her, it would be ‘berries’, and ‘lemons’ were for critical situations. This was the first time Harley had to use that code. While waiting for John to come around, the girl went to the improvised kitchen and set up the hot water for tea. While she did so, she noticed bloody marks on her fingers. Horrified, she quickly scrambled any evidence of death from her body with soap and water. Relieved, she then brought the bags to the table and served the pies on a big plate. While she was arranging, Frost ran over to her, worried, but determined to help. 

“What happened?” He was a little out of breath. Clearly, he ran out from some business process nearby.

“I… gosh, I don’t know where to start. I came here and found him in front of a violated dead body, covered in blood from head to toe and completely out of it. He didn’t even recognise me at first, started to scream and hit himself. I tried to calm him down and it worked… I think? He told me that he was off his meds and I asked him to go take a shower. That’s it” the look on John’s face was a mix of irritation, anger and confusion.

“For Fuck’s sake, Harley! You should call me the moment you saw blood on the floor! What have you been thinking?! He could kill you, don’t you understand?!” He was on the edge of screaming, but somehow still maintained his calm attitude. Frost sighed, rubbing his eyes “He is very ill, kid. Usually he takes some of the stuff they give him at Arkham to stay balanced, but time to time he gets some strange ideas and stops. It always ends in something like this. Memory losses, panic attacks, uncontrolled aggression and violence. All his most lethal heists happen when he is in this phase”. Come to think of it, Harley had noticed that Mister J became more harsh and restless recently. She never imagined it to evolve like this, though.

“What, umm, what is his condition?” At this John left out a bitter laugh.

“No idea. Six years of regular visits to Arkham, and they still don’t have a clue what’s wrong with him”. Frost opened one of the top shelves and took out a small white bottle with ‘0801’ written on it. John put it on the table and looked back at Harley. “Twice a day after food. If he opposes, don’t push it. He hates when someone orders him around. Reminds him of Asylum”.  
“O-okay. Thanks?” Harley took the bottle in her hands and rotated it, thoughtfully. She looked up when she heard John snorting.

“Unbelievable. You snapped him out of it. And he obeyed you” he shoved her shoulder playfully “You do have the guts, kid. And a talent. He almost killed me multiply times in that state of mind”. 

Well, that was a way to make Harley smug. She WAS special to her Puddin, after all. As they were talking, Harley set up the tea and cups.

“So, where is the body?”

“In the stock room” came an answer behind their backs. Both blonds turned to see their boss. Joker was tucked in an oversized bathrobe, still shaking a little bit. He looked tired and fragile. It was almost hard to believe that this was the man that had just bit off someone’s nose. Except, Harley had seen it herself.  
John nodded in acknowledging and walked out of the kitchen, muttering “I will take care of it”.

“Come, sit down” Harley tried to sound cheery, but the look the criminal gave her told that he wasn’t buying it.

“I might be crazy, but I’m no idiot, Harls” he said, taking a sit in front of the steaming cup of tea, hugging it with cold hands. “No need to act like everything is alright. You’ve seen some shit today, so be like it”. The teen relaxed. He was returning to his normal self again. 

“It’s… fine. I, ah, I’m fine”. They sat in silence for some time, seeping on tea. Then Harley asked “How are you feeling?”

“Wouldn’t mind to go on a cruise around, say, Hawaii. Otherwise, everything’s great. I even got my fave pies right out of the stove, what else could a man wish for?” With each sentence Joker was becoming more lively and relaxed. 

“Well then, maybe, you could also swallow these pills after tea?” She moved the bottle across the table. The man eyed it thoughtfully.

“Mh, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to do so”. He then smirked and eyed Harley with lazy amusement “You’ve grown up so fast around here, didn’t ya? Remember how you fell for that trick with the case and then were mad at me that it was empty?” They both laughed, sharing the memory of that careless day.

“Feels like it was in another life” Harley admitted. 

“I almost feel sorry, you know. You were so dumb and naive. Cute. But, ah, no. It was annoying as heck”. This was the closest to an apology she had ever heard from him. “The sooner you understand, how the real world works - the better”. 

“I wanted to impress you so badly. I mean, I still do, but, at least now I can say it out loud and not blush as a virgin on her wedding night” and it was true. As soon as she came to terms with her feelings and desires, everything became much more simple, in a way. She never said it out loud, but she knew that he knew. Had known even before she realised it herself. Maybe, he had been knowing it since their first meeting in that park almost three years ago. During this month, they grew closer to each other, leaving traces of their different personalities on one another. You could say, they build up some sort of a relationship. A very platonic, one-sided relationship. But she was fine with that. Deep down, he cared about her too. The fact, that she was able to reach out to his sanity, proved it more than any words. 

“Oh, speaking of that. Did you, back there, call me, ahem, Puddin? Or it was just a weird way to sneeze?” 

Oh, no.

“Please tell me it was a sneeze”.

“It wasn’t” she managed through an embarrassed laugh. “This is how I have been calling you in my head since you gave me your phone number. In fact, that’s your contact’s name”. The look on his white face was priceless.

“You are absolutely disgusting. Don’t you dare to call me like that ever again. At least not when I am in the room” that made Harley laugh even more. The stress of the situation, the worry and sadness, aching in her chest, destroying her, and a desperate laugh at the stupid pet name. She was probably getting crazy as well. 

“Please, Mr. J, just, don’t forget to take your meds, okay?” She covered his hand, that laid on the table, with hers. 

“I’ll think on it” he smiled at her, but his tired eyes were saying much more. Out of nowhere, little taps were coming closer and then, a pair of two frightened puppies showed up at the kitchen. Seemingly satisfied with the setup in front of them, they happily jumped towards their human parents. 

Observing how the troubled man, that she was so unfortunate to fell for, was feeding a piece of his pie to Lou, Harley thought to herself, that everything would be fine. He was not a lost cause. They would deal with it together now, and she would never let him to suffer from this burden alone.

****

When the sky outside was colored in inks, she didn’t leave. They laid on the bed, in complete darkness, expect for the light of the huge plasma TV that Joker had dragged over there a couple of weeks ago. Harley was hugging his sleeping form as tightly as she could, tucking the troubled green head in the crook of her neck. Through the day, she had been thinking on the situation they both had found themselves in. She had witnessed a violent murder. Trusting Frost’s words, this was a system. But he listened to her. Another shock was finding out that qualified doctors in Arkham couldn’t give him a correct diagnosis. Either Joker was an enigma beyond human’s understanding, or these psychiatrists were very lame. And while the clown’s mind, without a doubt, was brilliant, Harley was more into the second variant. Tenderly stroking his bushy eyebrow with her thumb, Harleen came to one of the most important decisions in her life. She was determined to choose psychiatry as her main. She would become an expert and she would do everything that she could to help this lost man. Sighing, she left a soft kiss on his temple and dozed off, welcoming the gentle touch of the dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Please forgive me for not uploading this chapter for so long! I promise that such big intervals won't be a regular thing. Anyways, this chapter was one piece of a cake, meaning - it was hard AF to write it down correctly. Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to leave a comment with your thoughts! It encourages me to write faster~


	8. They meet new friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so SORRY it took that long!!! I have no excuse >_> I hope you like this chapter, I'm not a big fan of how it turned out

“I spy… something green”.  
“And that’s my hair”.

“Nah” Harley giggled mischievously.

“That tree over there?”

“Nope”.

“Hmpf. Street light?” Joker looked slightly confused. 

“Nuh-uh" the girl’s cunning smile grew wider.

“Well, I don’t see around any green cars. Gotta give me a little hint, Pumpkin” the clown raised an eyebrow, getting back his attention to the road. They were stuck in the middle of a traffic jam, sandwiched between many autos on the main road to Gotham’s centre. The last fifteen minutes they spent playing ‘I Spy’. 

“It’s closer to you than you think” she bit her lower lip to stiff the giggles.

“Ah. That’s cheesy even for you Harls. My eyes?” he looked at her expectedly with said eyes.

“You got it! Now’s your turn” decidedly following in his competitor’s steps, Joker also searched Harley’s face and quickly came up with:

“I spy something ridiculously hideous”.

“Hey!” She playfully slapped him on the shoulder, mockingly offended.

“You know, I’m serious. Wipe off that crimson abomination from your lips. I’m not going to introduce you to my friends when you look like that” he got back to driving, eyes on the traffic.

“Look like what?” Now Harley was truly offended. It was rarely appropriate for a girl her age to wear real makeup. And a birthday party at Iceberg Lounge sounded like her best opportunity to do so. She made sure to put the darkest grey shadows around her eyes, as well as the reddest shade of lipstick that she so boldly took from her boss’s makeup kit. She wanted to match him, but he looked horrified when he saw her. At least Jonny got a good laugh out of it.

“Like an underage slut” he cut off. Now that was really hurtful. “No offence, but your dress is already showing too much” she looked at her bare tights, silky black and red fabric of the flared skirt draped over them. “And that thingy on your neck. I mean, it’s cute, but combined with that makeup it looks like an invitation to a BDSM party” he nodded at her lacy choker. 

“Alright! Alright! I will wipe it off, gee” she rolled her eyes and took out a napkin from her purse, carefully removing the lipstick. It still left a trace of soft pink, but trusting Joker’s reaction, that was fine.

“There you go, much better!” He approved, giving the girl a small smile. “Besides, Ozzie made it clear it was just a ‘get together’ type of thing, not a real party. Why have you decided to go over the top?” 

“I wanted to make an impression” she muttered, scowling. The man himself was wearing a cream colored dress shirt with cherry vest and matching slacks. His hair, for the first time in a while, was carefully slicked back, curving only on his neck level. And of course, his signature makeup. 

“Well, I’m surely impressed. Though I shall admit, hair down is a good look on you. You should wear it like that more”. A couple of months ago she would blush at a compliment like that, but it was no longer the case.

“Oh, I’ll make sure to pull off the greatest prom hairstyle next time I will be ironing your briefs” she sneered back.

“Please, I know you get a kick out of it, little pervert”. They both chuckled. 

Long story short, a few weeks after the stock room incident, Joker mentioned over breakfast that they were invited to Oswald Cobblepot’s, also infamously known as Penguin, birthday party. Who was turning 50 and apparently, didn’t want to throw a pompous gala dinner in his own honour. Which, as Joker noted, was very out of character for the eccentric businessman. When Harley pried on why she, of all people, was invited, her boss simply said that Cobblepot told everyone of his guests, which weren’t many, to bring along a friend.  
“I don’t have any clue what’s got into him. I’m actually surprised that he invited me” the clown shrugged back then. It was all information Harley needed to get giddy and exited over the event. Iceberg Lounge, though popular with A-list criminals, was a very luxury and private restaurant. The rational, mature part of her realised that it was, in fact, very dangerous to show her face with the Clown Prince of Crime in public. But the adolescent, adventurous part of her was ecstatic to visit a place so prestige and to meet people that were as frequent on Gotham’s Television, as celebrities and billionaires. And returning to the current moment, with them driving in the car towards Iceberg Lounge, it wasn’t hard to guess which part had won.

***

They entered the hall full of well dressed people, live music and chattering. Met with too much force of men and women going in and out, Joker put a hand around the young girl’s shoulders protectively, guiding her past the attendance table. The attendant at first wanted to protest, but after recognising who was trying to pass through, quickly gathered himself and started to sugar coat the guest.

“Mr. Joker! It’s so great to have you around this evening! Let me lead you to Mr. Cobblepot’s table…” he was stopped by a pale hand on his chest.

“No need for that, pal. I know where the old man tends to nest his fat ass. Wouldn’t want to interrupt you from licking these gentlemen’s shoes” he winked, gesturing to the line of shocked people awaiting to be checked in. Patting the poor attendant’s cheek, he strolled forward, leading Harley along.

“That was, like, so unnecessary to be rude” she commented.

“That was, like, so unnecessary to bring you here” he retorted. Harleen scoffed. Sometimes he would just decide to act like an asshole with no apparent reason. Well, she mused, better this than violently torturing people to death. While they were walking, everyone on their way tried to avert looking at them, visibly ignoring the elephant in the room. The restaurant lived up to its theme, resembling the arctic motives, with blue-white colours and sculpt ice elements on the walls. The place was big, chick and a little cold. Soon, they approached what appeared to be the most silent corner of the room, isolated by a set of stairs and decorative enclosure. There sat three figures. A very short and chubby, dark haired, balding man in a black tuxedo. This, Harley assumed, was the Penguin himself. She could see why he was called that. Round dark eyes and long, beak-like nose added to his already comical appearance, making him look like the arctic bird indeed. To his left sat a lanky young man in narrow glasses. He had the most intense ginger hair Harley had recalled seeing. He couldn’t be elder than 30 and was convincingly civil and nerdy in his green cardigan and a bowtie. The man’s subtle form and delicate face features weren’t convincing for a criminal either. Yet he still looked alarmingly familiar. Harley couldn’t put a finger on it, but she was sure she would recognise him at some point. Beside him, sipping on a glass of white wine, sat an absolutely stunning lady. She was even younger than the ginger, 25 at most. Short, black hair styled in a fashionable mess made her look even younger. She was wearing a tight black cocktail dress that fit her significant forms perfectly. Unlike Harley’s, her dark makeup was done perfectly, smoky shadows highlighting her piercing green eyes and plum shade fulling her lips. However, despite her undeniable beauty, she wasn’t recognisable neither to Harley or Joker.

And like that, three pairs of confused eyes stared down at them, switching from the clown to his company of choice and back.

“This day is getting weirder and weirder” Cobblepot broke the silence, looking pointedly at Harley. “Next you know, Croc will come over with a girlfriend too,” he shifted his gaze to the clown, standing up. “Well well, J, and here I expected you to pull a gag and bring a dead chicken or something like that. Introduce me to the young lady” he levelled with the couple and turned out to be an inch shorter than Harley. 

“Eh, Ozzie - Harley. Harley - Ozzie” the green haired man motioned from one to another.

“Oswald” the short man corrected, glaring at him. He made a movement to take Harleen’s tiny hand in his, most likely to kiss it, but was interrupted by the green haired:

“Whatever,” the clown waived him off. “Happy Birthday, old fart!” He exclaimed and started to pull the poor businessman’s ears. The latter screeched in pain and surprise, while the ginger man let out a laugh full of delight. 

“Ahh! Stop it! You son of a…!” Oswald shoved the grabby white hands away from him. Joker looked pleased with himself, as he usually did when he got to annoy someone. He then shoved a small box at Cobblepot, hitting his face “Your present”. While the short man was gathering himself, Joker unceremoniously went past him, dragging Harley along and seated them both at the table, so he sat facing the still chuckling ginger and Harley facing the gorgeous lady. 

“Oh… thanks. That’s actually very nice of you” the birthday boy muttered, baffled with surprise. In the box laid very elegant black watches. When he tugged at them, a stream of whipped cream shot at his face. Joker announced his pride in the trick with a nasty little laugh. “Remind me why I thought inviting you was a good idea” Oswald left out a tired breath, otherwise unfazed by a white sugary substance dripping from his face. 

“Because deep inside you love me,” the clown smugly responded, winking at Harley, “and because you want something from me. Most likely the latter than the former” Penguin shook his head and left the table, most likely heading to the bathroom to wash mess from his face.

“So,” the ginger clicked into the conversation, studying Harley with curious chocolate eyes “Harley, right? Nice to meet you, I’m Edward” he hold out his hand to the girl, which she shacked.

“Nice to meet you too, Edward” she smiled. It was a nice change to talk to someone who didn’t act like an imp 90% of the time. At least, Edward gave an impression of a decent person. For now.

“And that’s Selina, my old friend” he introduced the brunette, to which she playfully wiggled her fingers at the newcomers, purring out a simple “Hi”.

“Bullshit, Eddie. Not a single person in this world would willingly befriend you” Joker remarked. Edward scoffed, rolling his eyes. “How much did he pay you, dearie?” Clown addressed Selina, imitating a scheming whisper. Selina let out a soft laugh.

“No, we are actually good friends. I’ve known Ed since I was…” she laid her eyes on Harley “around your age”. 

Oh, she knew where this was going. Before Joker could answer with another witty remark, Edward enthusiastically took over the dialog.

“Speaking of which. How old are you, Harley? And how much did THIS insufferable hobbledehoy pay you to join him tonight?”

“I will be sixteen in three weeks. And I came here on my free will too” she readily answered. By then Cobblepot had returned to their table, sitting himself in the centre.

“Having some double standards, aren’t we, J?” He mocked, while officiant was filling everyone’s glasses with wine. It was obvious he was referring to their now two months old encounter with Jervis Tetch. Apparently, after those events the creep was laying low in Arkham. 

“Harley works for me,” ignored he the question “she’s ah, a sort of a housekeeper”. 

“Housekeeper?” Edward bemused, again addressing the blonde “Aren’t you a bit too young to work for this cockalorum?” He poked his finger at the clown “Scratch that. You are too young to even know him!”

“Cockalorum? Hobbledehoy?” Joker interjected again “Eddie, what are you? Ten?”

“I’m not going to swear in front of the ladies. Unlike you, I am a respectable gentleman” he slightly titled his head in a proud defence.

“I think you spelt ‘a fucking asshole’ wrong. No one asked for your shitty opinion on my relationship with Harley”.

“Not unless this questionable relationship contains a person that still hasn’t reached the age of consent”.

“Oh-oh, Eddie, please. As if it’s not you who uses underage boys as sacks of meat for Batsy to beat while you save your skinny cowardice ass from the fighting field. Don’t teach others how to do their business if you are full of shit yourself”.

“Is that what you told Jervis, though?” Edward’s face grimaced in a mean smile and it clicked in Harley’s head. Edward Nigma. Also known as the Riddler. A criminal mastermind obsessed with riddles, puzzles and his enormous ego. He was almost unrecognisable without his garish costume, but it was there. Maybe his company wasn’t any more reliable than the one of the clown, after all. 

“That’s low even for you, Nigma” the latter growled, aggression progressively fuelling him.

The two men glared at each other, tension between them filling the space around the table. In her mind, Harley compared them to skinny stray cats ready to start a messy fight full of scratching and hissing. Judging by Selina’s disapproving face expression, she thought that too.

“You two, enough” Oswald patted both men on the shoulders. “You continue that, and I will kick you out and continue to celebrate this fine evening in the lovely company of Selina and Harley”. 

They went quiet for some time, silently testing the seafood starters on their plates. Then, Joker spoke up.

“So, Ozzie, care to spill why have you decided to spend your anniversary with me and Eduardo, of all people?”

“Yeah, that’s very unlike you. Though I’m still expecting a busty stripper to jump out of this table at any moment” the ginger chimed in. Penguin gave them a tired look, and sighed.

“I shall confess. It’s a little depressing to know that you are half past your century. I wanted some comfort, I think. I throw big parties every now and then anyway, what’s so special about spending the most important day of the year with people you barely know and distrust? No one actually cares about me or wishes me well,” a small smile appeared on his face “Even though we have a long history and regularly fight, you two are the closest to what is usually defined as ‘friends’ I have”. 

“Aww. If I didn’t know better, I would tear up,” Edward cooed. Joker looked at him with a visible annoyance. He so very obviously wanted to say the same thing, Harley couldn’t hold in a little snort. The ginger continued “But, I’m sure you just want strong allies in your blooming war with Dent”. Cobblepot clenched his jaw, exhaling a puff of air. Joker laughed.

“Hah! Ozzie, you really expected US to believe this crappy fairytale? Are you… what was that, Eddie? Ah, Hobbledehoy?” 

“Look, it’s not…” Oswald started, but looking up at unimpressed faces of his male guests, decided better. “Okay, it’s that. I give up. But have you seen what that slick two-faced bastard is doing?! He tries to chew off my territory, MY! I’ve already caught a dozen of his spies between my guys. I did NOT start it! He did!” The short man obviously got carried away, as he started to shout a little louder than it was necessary, his round face turning red with rage. Joker and Edward shared a look.

“Chill, Ozzie. Take a sip of your wine and chill” Ed tried to sound soothing, “We got it. Harvey is being Harvey. Or the other guy. Honestly, they both suck” he wanted to say something else but was rudely cut off by a very cheery clown.

“Anywho! I don’t know about Edmund, but I can’t stand both Harvey and Two Face much more than I can’t stand you. Moreover,” he pointed his finger up “your company can be quite enjoyable when you are in a good mood. As you said it, we are almost friends” now it was his turn to be cut off by Riddler.

“And Dent will always remain an intruder in our little community. You can count on me” he glanced at Joker and a corner of his mouth curled up, “and on him”. Harley could see what triggered the two criminals to biker with each other. They were alike in so many ways that it pissed each of them, and their pompous ‘unique’ egos off. But there was something in the air between Joker and Riddler, a scent of agreement on mutual tolerance. The men carried on the conversation, discussing Two Face, tactics on preventing the war and by chance, a possibility to gain something from that situation. Sometimes Joker would glance at the teen, as if to check if she was alright, but never addressed her directly. Selina, who was also left out of the discussion, silently observed the clown and his young company. Harley seemed to be mediocrely bored, so the dark haired lady invited her to check out the bar area, where the show on the main stage was seen better.  
Harleen looked at her boss, silently asking for his approval. He checked out Selina with his eyes and, visually not finding anything against her, shrugged and said:  
“Go ahead, pumpkin. Have some fun” she smiled at him thankfully and moved to get out of the table, catching a surprised look on Cobblepot’s face, and an amused one on Nigma’s. 

When she levelled with Selina, the latter winked at her and with a remarkable flow of her hips, lead her towards the bar. She reminded Harley of a wild feline. A dangerous and playful, in-depended creature. The girl wondered what was her story with Edward.

As they reached the bar, Selina put her elbows on the counter, leaning on her back and instead of the stage, her eyes were focused on Harley.

“So,” she started, sipping on her wine “spill”. Harley granted her with a confused look.

“Spill what?” She asked.

“The tea,” the brunette stated casually “come on. I bet the entire Iceberg is dying to know how the two of you got along. I’ve never met the infamous clown before, but from what I’ve heard from the streets, and from what Eddie told me, it’s not in his character to care for someone, let along treat with respect and my dare I say, gentleness. Not to mentioned that you are the first person I know that appears not to be scared or intimidated by him in the slightest. Those two missies at our table are secretly shaking beside your fella. Must be some good tea” she smirked into her glass, a glimmer of conspiracy shining in her vivid eyes.

“Huh, so that’s what you gathered?” Harley was as confused as she was nervous. They had something special with Joker, it was undeniable, but she never looked at it aside from her lovesick point of view. Moreover, never had she dwelled on what others might regard them as. Though, Jonny also had mentioned it a couple of times that the clown was fond of her. It was a realisation that warmed her cheeks as much as her heart. “W-well. It’s a rather long story. I technically know him for three years now, but it’s actually around four months that we are close. I… might have saved his life? Patched him up and got him a place to stay the night in. Then we’ve bumped into each other again and I asked if I can help him with something. So, ah, that’s how I got the job” she finished and stared at Selina, who looked less that impressed by her dry tale.

“Oh, it’s soo much more interesting than what you’ve just told me. I won’t pry on, it’s not my business” she bent closer to Harley, lowering her voice “but I know love when I see one. And trust me when I say it - it’s not as unrequited as you think” she smirked as the blonde gasped.

“You-you think he…?” Harley sputtered, searching Selina’s face.

“Oh yes, honey, you have him wrapped around your little finger”. She glanced around the room, at the three criminals arguing on something, at the dance show, and finally her gaze rested in one undefined spot, a longing look on her fair face. Singing, Selina continued in a hushed voice, “If only I was so lucky. But I guess I’m too dirty and materialistic to get someone that attached”. 

Harley eyed her in bewilderment. This stunning, gorgeous woman? Longing on someone? Unrequitedly?

“Uh, wait, what?” The teen voiced her wonder “You, ah? Is it Ed?”

Selina laughed at that, her head gently lolling to the side.

“Oh no, me and Ed are really just two good friends. It’s a story for another time, but I promise to spill it to you some other day” Harley noted how Selina casually hinted that she didn’t mind her company. It was nice, she was intriguing to Harley and she was in need of a real friend she could share her dwellings with as of later. The girl could see them sitting in a cosy cafe and gushing over their lives like that. “So nah, it’s someone much bigger than Ed. At first I saw him as an easy target to milk for money but,” she sighed “he turned out to be a completely different person I thought he was. Smart, charming, carrying. I knew I had it bad when I started to think how it would be to spend the rest of my life with him. ME! I always considered myself an independent type, never been in love, always on my own. But as I started to open up to him, I met a wall. He is so hard to break through. Not to mention I know Bru…,ah, he hides something. Granted, I have an entire load of secrets myself, but… It’s complicated” she finished her rant. 

“Wow” was all Harley could come up with. ‘Great job, Harls’ mocked an imaginary voice, sounding much alike one pale lunatic. 

“Yeah, wow”.

“If you want, we can meet up this week, you know. Somewhere nice and cosy. Drink some coffee n’all, talk about things” Harley suggested. 

“That sounds great. I’m sorry, when I get tipsy, I start to annoy people. I didn’t want to spam a sixteen year old with my love life troubles. But you seem to be a smart girl and well, spending your time rubbing shoulders with, oh my, the Joker, you got them balls, honey” they both giggled. “So, I’d love to catch up somewhere less crowdy. I know places”. Selina got lipstick from her purse and a napkin from the counter, writing down her phone number. She held the napkin to Harley, which she eagerly accepted. 

“Harley! We be going!” Shouted the green haired himself across the hall, motioning towards the entrance, Edward Nigma following right behind him, looking smug as ever. From there it could be seen that he was at least a head shorter than the clown, making him an average height. The ladies moved towards them, spotting Cobblepot tailing along only up close. The short man seemed to be very satisfied with his evening, a pleased smile across his round face. 

“It was nice to see you gentlemen” he nodded towards Joker and Riddler. “Ladies, charmed” he kissed both of Selina’s and Harley’s hands and with a polite bow, retired to the main hall, leaving the four of them in the doorway. They scrolled to the parking lot, where Jonny was already awaiting them beside Joker’s car. Before parting, Riddler shoved the taller man’s shoulder lightly, nodding to him:

“You know what that means”.

“Tomorrow, same place?” The clown responded without hesitation.

“Exactly. See you around. Miss Harley, it was delightfully pleasing to finally meet you” he winked at her. Beside him, Selina giggled and motioned with her hands a phone gesture to her ear, mouthing ‘call me’. With that, they retired hand in hand, as Joker and Harley hoped into the back seat of the car.

“What was that about?” The teen asked her boss. He shrugged.

“Well, me and Eddie are actually sorta friends. I’m the one who gave him the green light into the criminal world a couple years ago. The red head is one of the few people there with decent brain cells, so I keep him around”.

“So… back there at the table, it was all an act?”

“You could call it that” he smirked. “Better not let someone like Ozzie to find out we are actually in the same team”.

“Huh” that was reasonable. “Wait, what did he say about finally meeting me?” Joker glanced mischievously at her.

“Well, not only you girls like spilling the tea, you know?” She stared him down with the mix of offence and amusement. 

“You! I can’t believe it!” Harley slapped his hand, while the man was laughing. In the driver’s seat, Jonny chuckled as well.

Trying to tickle mercilessly the murderous criminal while making plans for movie night, Harley wondered, where was her life going. No answer followed. Only the stars, glistening in the dark sky above, hummed to themselves, knowing well the fait of the newborn harlequin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally introducing some new faces! I'm not sure I got everyone's characters right, so let me know what you think!  
> And as usual, I love all of you and see you in the next chapter xoxo


	9. They runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unbelievable! Finally finished this chapter! I'm so sorry it took so long again guys ;_;

“Harleen, we need to talk” the firmness in Mrs. Quinzel’s voice meant to deliver the way this talk would be. Harley, who was sitting on the couch in the living room, doing her homework, tensed. It, of course, could be one of those discussions about her choice in studying psychiatry. When she had firstly announced her decision, her mother was pleasantly surprised in her daughter’s serious choice. But the more time passed by, the more she was starting to worry that Harley was doing a grand mistake by picking such a difficult subject. And she didn’t even know yet that Harley had sent her resume to the most pristine psychology university in Gotham, and that they were accepting. Harleen still didn’t have an idea how she was going to tell her parents that she had enough money to pay for her own study, which was a lot in this kind of universities.

“Sure, what is it?” She tried to sound indifferent. Mrs. Quinzel placed herself on the couch beside her daughter, facing her.

“Look, dear, I know that you study hard, and you have great marks, not to mention how mature and helpful you’ve been around the house lately,” she started, “but I’ve been at parent meeting for Barry yesterday, and I’ve seen your friends in the corridor. The ones that you always say you have a sleepover with several days a week” the woman’s voice lowered “and what did I find out? That you are barely friends these days. And that there are no sleepovers whatsoever!” 

Well, fuck.

“I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but care to explain, where the hell have you been all these nights?!” She was shouting, fidgeting on the couch as if ready to jump at Harley at any second. Joker always found it weird that his young employee’s parents were buying the ‘sleepover’ bit for three months in a row. Especially as Harley was staying at Amusement Mile more often than at home lately. Well, if there was anything that Harley had learned from Mr. J in these months, it was that the best lie was the truth. A slightly vague truth.

“Okay, listen, you can chill. It’s not what you think” and for what Harley knew about her mother, it definitely wasn’t. “So I got this job at nightshift, alright? It’s nothing illegal, just cleaning and organising a big place. I’m doing it for good money. I now can pay myself for college, you don’t even have to sweat”. She even put her hand softly on the older women’s shoulder to reassure her. 

“Oh, Harleen…” the woman was caught off guard, visibly unsure of what to think of it. “I… Is it so?”

“Uh-huh”.

“My goodness, I, I don’t know what to say. Who-why would you do this?”

“I told ya, so I can study in a…” the girl was cut off by a tense:

“Hold on. There is no way a regular cleaning job would get you any decent money,” Mrs. Quinzel studied the teen’s face worryingly “this is very sketchy”.

“Duh, I swear it’s not sketchy! I mean, the company I work for is very chick and high end’s all”. By the look her mother gave her, Harley knew she was digging herself a grave with each new sentence. Should keep the big money bit out of the story. Now she was cornered with no idea how to continue. It was obvious Mrs. Quinzel was expecting a name, and even if Harley came up with something like ‘Wayne tech’, her next logical question would be how a regular teenager ended up working there, even if it was cleaning. Then, a solution came to the blond’s mind.

“Alright, just don’t be mad, ‘kay?” She inhaled, as if she was admitting the biggest reveal of all her life “I work at Iceberg Lounge”.

“What?!” Poor woman was in an obvious shock “Wah? I- ah, I don’t… I’m… wow. God, I don’t know what to say, Harleen, this is so messed up” she tiredly rubbed her face with both hands. “Whatever I expected, it was not this. It’s just too much”.

“But… you are not mad?”

“Oh, I’m so very mad!” She soundly slapped the teen on the cheek. “What were you thinking?!”

“Hey! What was that for?!” Harley hold hand on her burning side. 

“I can’t believe it! You just confessed that you work at a gangster cloak, that accepts teenagers to wash floors at night and you expect me to be happy about it? Are we not giving you enough money? Do you really think it will lead you anywhere good?”

“I told ya it’s for study!”

“Oh, and this! I can’t get enough of hearing about your new ‘psychology’ hobby. What is this all about? You were never interested in anything so specific, what pushed you in this direction? What kind of people you rub shoulders with in that garbage place you call a lounge?”

“I-“

“Enough! I’m sick of this conversation and you are grounded. You go to school, your father meets you after class and you drive home together. And this is how it is going to be until you graduate. End of story. And think of a different college”.

“The fuck?! You can’t do that to me!” The girl screamed, enraged. Her blood was boiling and the pictures of her perfect life were progressively exploding. Images of past few months changed in front of her eyes repeatedly, stopping on a visage of her boss on the white floor of the stock room, covered in blood and with a disoriented, lost look in his bright eyes.

“Watch your language, you ungrateful little bitch!” Mrs. Quinzel yelled, slapping her daughter on the lips.

“No I won’t! I hate this family! I hate you! You never cared a damn about what I want! And you know what? I lied! I don’t work at Iceberg lounge! But I work for a wonderful man that had given me much more love and compassion than you ever had! And we are not even dating! He just cares for me, because no one else does!” Tears were blurring Harley’s vision, but she still could clearly see the shocked expression on her mother’s face. A stinging silence filled the room. Coming back from zoning out, the teen run fast into her room, locked it and started to gather her sports bag in a hurry, grabbing her fair earned money first, following with laptop, phone, charges and some clothes. An angry knock laid on the door.

“Harleen,” a shouting voice came “open the door, now!” Zipping the bag to the sound of repeated banging on the wooden surface and hysterical exclamations, the blonde jumped into a pair of sneakers and left through the fire escape. Luckily, her foot was almost healed to that moment and she made in to the ground with no effort. It was already dark at nine p.m. and Harley ran in the direction of the tram station without a single glance back, right into the dark of the early night.

***

The warehouse met her with usual creepy cheeriness of unused park decorations and hurried tapping of little paws on the polished floor. Bud and Lou, who had significantly enlarged in this couple of months, rushed towards their little nanny, knocking her over and trying to lick her face.

“Hey now, you two!” The blond giggled, cuddling the cubs. “Give me a room to breathe, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon”, she stood up and thought on it. This was real now. She had no way back. Her only home and family was now in an abandoned theme park of the Amusement Mile. Her cheeks were dry from tears, body shaking, and a monotonous gull in her head. “God, I need to take a bubble bath” she thought out loud, taking her bag from the floor. Harley knew that Joker wouldn’t be back from wherever he was for at least another four hours, as he had explicitly told her not to bother him with any stupid love messages until two a.m. So, she walked towards the headquarters, passing the cursed stock room, hyenas following her steps behind. She entered the big colourful space that was supposed to be a living room, with the small set of stairs leading to the bedroom, that we already know of. The living area contained two large mismatched sofas, a bookshelf, a pole table and enormous amount of plants, that of course, was Harley’s job to water. In the right corner, there was a surprisingly fancy tinted glass door. Joker was one of those people who would spend a bit extra attention on their bathing habits, so this room was on some next level of surrealism - what was once a regular public bathroom, with not so much space and a layer of nastiness to it, had now a giant fancy jacuzzi in the place where a raw of toilet cabins used to be, with a good selection of lotions and skin care tubes on the side. All stolen from the infamous Gotham Mall, of course. Police must had been very confused when the record cameras showed them the clown and his gang ravaging the bathroom appliances section. The said clown also made sure to install a new toilet, but left the row of four washing sinks and fan for some reason. It took some time, but Harley got used to this unusual arrangement and even grew to find it cute.   
She entered the improvised bathroom, put her bag on the little wooden table beside the large bath, took off her clothes, sweaty from running, and started to fill the tube, adding sea salt and bubble liquid. Sinking into the warm water, Harley left out a sing of relief. There, everything was going to be fine. Didn’t matter that she completely blew her chance on any normal future, a pristine degree, reputation or a chance of communicating with her parents. Didn’t even matter that there was no chance at applying to psychology university anymore, as she would be returned to Quinzel’s the moment she showed up at a normal public place. She would manage to help Mr.J just fine without all that psychiatry crap, he hated doctors anyway. With thoughts rummaging in her abused mind, the blonde must had drifted off to sleep, as at some point she caught herself startled by a door slamming. Feeling someone else’s presence in the room, she squealed on reflect, trying to cover herself with hands, though the bath was full with white bubbles that already did the job.

“Jesus Christ, Harls!” Came the familiar cranky voice from the side. “The heck are you doing in here?”

Now that she came to her senses, the blonde now could see the reason of all her troubles standing near one of the four sinks, aquamarine shirt splattered with blood and a fresh cut on his white forehead. Least to say, the Clown Prince of Crime looked quite shabby. 

“Oh God, are you alright? What time is it?” Harley glanced allover the water, making sure her body was hidden underneath the white foam, relaxing again. Aside from the small cuts here and there, Joker seemed to be fine. She’d got used to see him in this condition by now, the blood obviously not being his. Incredible how quickly one’s mind changes stereotypes for normality, indeed. 

“I’m fine, the party ended shortly, as you see” he washed his hands, soaping them up and then cleaning his face from destroyed makeup and blood. As he finished, he muttered into the face towel: “doesn’t explain why you are in MY jacuzzi in the middle of the night. Aren’t you supposed to be at the mama’s and papa’s?”

“I ran away and this is the only place I can stay at for now” she said as steady as she could. The young law breaker hated that a part of her was scared that he would kick her out. 

“Ah” the man simply responded, folding the little towel carefully. “I figured it would happen sooner or later. Must admit it’s way sooner than I expected. I’m even a tiny little bit impressed, congrats”.

“You won’t kick me out, right?” At that he just gifted her with a glare that clearly meant ‘are you for real?’. “Thank you!” Harley smiled broadly. She should never doubt him. 

“I actually had plans for that bath myself. So please speed up with your leisure time and get out of here” he headed back to the door, ready to leave.

“Wait! Can you… like, sit with me?” She waved her hand at the wooden table-chair, implying where she expected him to sit.

“Harley, what are you, ten?” He baffled in bewilderment. “What kind of flex is that? I’m not your new daddy now” he shook his head and finally left the room. Harley looked at the cozy bubbles in front of her, sighing. Well, for that he wouldn’t get his jacuzzi for another 30 minutes.

***

“So, this is how it’s gonna be now, huh” Joker mumbled to himself, looking from Harley, that was settled on the bed in a new pyjama set to her clothes folded neatly on his favourite armchair, to her laptop charging at his working space and back to Harley. “I knew I would regret appeasing to your weird interest of working for me, but I never imagined it to escalate to this” he gestured at the occupied armchair.

“Hey, the wardrobe is full of your fancy rainbow suits, where I was supposed to put my stuff?”

“Oh, I dunno. In your girly bedroom an hour away from here, maybe?” He complained, but got in bed anyway, switching off the light. As the surroundings filled with the moonlight, Harley hurried to pull the blanket on top of her as well. They laid in silence for some time, until the green haired broke it:

“So, you are not going to school anymore?”

“I guess so”.

“Good for you”.

“I… guess so?”

They went silent again. Replaying this evening in her head again, Harley trembled. It hurt. As much as she wanted it to be an easy decision, it hurt painfully, clenching her gentle heart with claws of the unfair life, where she couldn’t keep her family and her Puddin together. It was either them or him. And while Quinzels weren’t an example of a very bonded healthy family, her memories were still filled with joyful, happy childhood. But she didn’t even want to imagine her life without the clown, she was far too deep in her feelings for him and everything surrounding him to reject that.   
Out of nowhere, a bony hand covered her face, almost slapping it unintentionally.

“Cut it with weeping, for Bat’s sake. If you won’t shut up I will move you to the couch in the living room. And you will have to share it with two grown ass hyenas”. 

That brought a giggle out of her. It wasn’t the first time Joker would try to get her attention away from her problems with fake grumpiness. This. This was why she was abandoning everything she had. He cared for her. Wether he admitted it or not, he always made sure that she wasn’t upset or down. He actually listened to what she said and laughed at her expense as much as he laughed at her jokes. He never forced her to take on any decision and accepted her choices. The Joker valued her, and it was a gift that no one else had given to her before. 

Shifting, the girl scuttled closer to the man’s slender frame, hugging his torso. 

“Mr. J” she whispered into his t-shirt.

“Hm?” He hummed sleepily. The criminal was obviously tired from a rough evening.

“I love you”.

“Lucky me” he mumbled and patted her on the head, resting his hand there as they both fell asleep. Harley didn’t have any bad dreams that night.  
***

Harley woke up with a startle. She couldn’t say what it actually was, sometimes you just jump out of sleep by opening your eyes and staring at the ceiling. The pale light that broke through the little window clarified that it was still pretty early. Beside the girl, Joker was barely seen through the cocoon of blankets he wrapped himself in somewhere during the night. Now the blonde realised that she woke up because, in fact, he took all the covers and she must had been freezing. Despite it was June closing to July, Gotham was still quite chilly, with weather ranging from 20 to 15 degrees, plus the warehouse was mediocre windy. 

She stared at the wrapped clown sausage on the bed, thinking. Yesterday seemed like one massive toxin trip. The teen still couldn’t believe she really had done what she did. It was all too much.  
The girl stood up and made her way to the bag on the sofa, taking out her phone and switching it on. She had turned it off while she was in the tram, not wanting to deal with her livid parents. She felt a pang of regret in her chest. Should at least text them that she was fine and safe, and that it wasn’t their fault she runaway. As the screen of the smartphone lighted up, it informed her with these several things:

Firstly, it was only 5:42 in the morning. 

Secondly, no one had called her. There were several messages from her mother, one at 11 p.m. being “Get out! Now!”, following with another one, at 1 a.m. “Whatever. You are grounded and tomorrow things are going to be much worse”. And of course, one from Barry, simply saying “Lmao Loser”. So, what? Her father and fetus brother came home from their soccer game, met absolutely hysterical mom and they decided that she had been just sitting quietly in her room all the time? Screw this. Harley wasn’t contacting anyone. They absolutely deserved this from her. They didn’t care enough to bother and unlock the door somehow. What if she was suffering from depression and decided to end her life there and then? What if her corpse was already cold in the girly bedroom while they came to conclusion she was just being moody? She dropped an absolute bomb of a confession on her mother, and they were chill enough to go and sleep soundly. And they definitely were asleep, as both of her parent’s WhatsApp ids showed that they were active at 1:20. Nice. Very nice. Well, at least, any guilt that Harley felt had died by now. She did what she had to do and did it on time. If she hesitated for another hour, they probably would caught her hot handed. 

Her unpleasant train of thought was interrupted by a muffled giggle. Quinzel glanced up at the mop of green hair popping from under the covers. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He did it sometimes. A random giggle while dreaming. This sobered up her fury, without further doubts, Harley took out the SIM card from her phone and threw it into the improvised trash bin under the table. This was it. No ties or links to her sorry excuse of a childhood. Exhaling a heavy sign, she scooted back into bed, unrolling covers from Joker and sliding under them as well, snuggling into the warmth of his body.

The next time she woke up from the feeling of her back hitting the floor. Confused and disoriented from sleep, Harley looked around, immediately meeting face to face with her boss looming over her fully dressed.

“It’s 11 a.m. Wake up and do something useful, or I will consider taking rent for your purposeless being here” he nudged her with his shoe.

“It’s 11? Whoah” she yawned, getting up.

“Whoah indeed. I need to go, will return around 17. Try not to ruin this place” he ruffled her hair and headed to leave.

“Yeah, as if it’s not me who is keeping this warehouse from drowning in dust and your laundry” she murmured, but the clown was already out.

***

“Catch!” She threw a ball as far as she could, and two eager hyenas rushed towards it, deeper into the park. After she made sure that their so called house was clean and tidy, she took Bud and Lou out for a walk. They were now outdoors for at least two hours, playing, training and having a great time. The sky was a pale grey, with dark clouds slowly coming from the south, meaning it would probably rain soon. Harley breathed in the fresh air. This far from Gotham, it was much more organic and calm. Now, that she lived here, Harley would finally make Joker come to the beach 15 minutes walking from here. She had been asking him for a long time, but the criminal always dismissed her request. Maybe they could even have a picnic on the shore. The girl smiled to herself. After all, her birthday was less than in two weeks. And she already had plans for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone had seen it like ten x times already (including me) but OMG THE JOKER MOVIE!!!!!! It is so good I still can't stop thinking about it. Also so happy that Joaquin Phoenix is finally getting the recognition he deserves. He has been my favourite actor for awhile now, and it warms my heart seeing new people admire his work :3  
> You can check some fan art and oil painting I did for the movie on my Insta or Tumblr too!  
> Back to the chapter - I finally moved the plot forward from the starting point, which is why this chapter took so long. I had rewrote it like three times until I was satisfied with the result and I already have a defined plan for two-three following chapters. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments and thanks for the wait!!! If you guys weren't constantly poking me to work on the chapter, it would probably take another month before I finished it lmao. Your support means everything to me! ^^

**Author's Note:**

> And like that, from now on these two are going to develop this weird relationship of random encounters. Where it would lead them? Stick around to find out ;o)  
> Comments are love! Let me know what you think!
> 
> I'm Erribeka on Tumblr if you want to chat or check some art~


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